"The testimony below is written by a cherished friend of mine who attended the camp with me, well by God's plan she was allocated as my roomie! Lol Daddy wanted His irresistable weirdo daughters with kindred souls to meet. <3ya, ying! xD A wonderful blessing that God has placed in my life.. in weird and wonderful ways; just knowing her as the incredibly unique and beautiful person she is, and also through ways like showing me how physics evidently points to the existence of spiritual principalities. kickass neat, sista! :) "
(: (: (: i love ewwwwweeeeeeeee twooooooo roooooomieeeeee~!!!
okay. i just love reminding myself of how loved i am (: heehee i love you prissyprissypris!! i love you tooooo jac and deborahhhh and jiayuaaaaan and meeeeeel even though you guys don't read this hahahahaha ah wells i love you toooooo yanmin!! (: (:
ironically, i just had a revelation tonight about the kind of love that God loves me with, and compared to the kind of love i used to get from my old life, i know why love used to suck. so bad. and so. i shall begin on this morose journey through the paaaaaast.
1. the love from people that say they love you and then say they wished they never did. lol.
have you ever met people who told you that they really loved you and they cared about you, and then said that they wished they never did? okay. i have. and here's the revelation. THEY DON'T! who they really care about is, well, themselves. admittedly they may love you but from this you can tell that hey, this is the kind of love that comes with conditions and expectations and disappointments and selfish reasons and many many yucky things. anyway i can frankly say that i've met quite a handful of this kind of people and friends and boyfriends that make you feel that love is sick and painful and absolutely hateful. because being loved is nice and everything, but the thought that someone loving you could cause that person who loves you pain because he/she loves you makes your mind go absolutely crazy making sense out of it that after a while you just think that love stinks. which is true. this really worldly human love thing really does stink. it stinks like bad eggs man. and now i remember why i found it so hard to dump jerks because the love is beautiful and that part is hard to let go even when everything else stinks. hallelujah i'm redeemed from jerks now (: i'd rather people who feel pain loving me just don't love me at all. and save themselves some pain. i'm sorry i don't think it's very noble to love someone when you feel anger and hate towards the love or that person at the same time, and it is sick. girls if any guy ever tells you this kind of shit, just dump him. please. and if you feel pain loving someone, just cut it off. you're both better off without it really.
2. the love from people who say they love you (or show any sign of approval) only when you do something right (in their eyes).
i think this mostly applies to parents : (. well maybe only some or maybe only mine.. basically it's the kind of love that is unconditional but is expressed wrongly because i refuse to believe that my parents could ever stop loving me because i dont do well. i guess they only show approval when i do well because.. i earned it? : ( okay. then that isnt really unconditional i guess. sigh. this is the kind of love that makes a child feel strangely empty inside..
and NOW, back to the present!!!!!!!!! (: this is the really amazing part that you have to read.
*the God kind of love. - God doesn't only love us, He wants to and He loves it!*
surprise, surprise! no surprise at all hahahahahaa it's quite obvious that i would get to this neh.
anyway, it was during HM that i realised that God loves me, as in it sank into my heart. and every day i realise more and more just how deep He loves me. like tonight i had the revelation that hey, God loves me willingly. and He's more than happy to. Love really is a choice! and i know that God chose to love me when He chose to send His son down to die for me so that He CAN love me. and i know that He is HAPPY loving me!!! and that He doesn't expect us to love Him back, He just loves us with all He is without any single expectation. and He's just filled with joy that He can love us freely and give us freely because He couldn't after Adam fell because the unholiness of the human race separated Him from us. and He gave up everything just so that He could love me and just be with me again!! Just as i am!!Just as He is!! fully revealed!! in His glory!!! so that we can be in His glory in His presence fully!! arghhhhhhhhhh!!!
and that is what makes God's love so irresistible. that He doesn't expect anything, and that all He wants is to be with me and to love me for who i am. which is every person's dream to be loved that way. and all He wants is for us to freely enjoy and be happy.and i know that He loves me no matter what i do and that gives me the strength to do anything! knowing that i am always pleasing in His eyes. and that gives me joy like never before. and i can say again that
hallelujah!!!! a joy that is dependent upon something that will never ever change can never ever go away! (:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. -1cor13.
this love here, is God's love, and God Himself. Human love and love based on human effort WILL fail. and ironically, it's kind of the opposite of the whole chapter. it's not that there is anything wrong in Love and loving, but we are born into this world as Adam's descendents, sinners and imperfect by our DNA. and that is why our love fails. especially when we try to make love happen or when we put too much effort into it. and so love isnt really love anymore when it is touched by our inborn imperfections.
but through Christ's sacrifice we are perfect and spotless and without blemish, bornagain!!, and we are part-God, and so we can appreciate and feel and understand God's perfect love (: and we can be a channel for His love to love other people!! and that's the most amazing part... that we can now love each other with the God kind of love, not of ourselves, but fully of God. and we just enjoy the harvests (: hallelujah, like how we are not just blessed, we are walking talking BLESSINGS wherever we go! (:
and so from this i hope that you're blessed with the heart-knowledge that God loves to love you, and to love you for you. without any expectations. with this, we can rest in His love. forever and ever amennnnnn (:
(: (: (: i love ewwwwweeeeeeeee twooooooo roooooomieeeeee~!!!
okay. i just love reminding myself of how loved i am (: heehee i love you prissyprissypris!! i love you tooooo jac and deborahhhh and jiayuaaaaan and meeeeeel even though you guys don't read this hahahahaha ah wells i love you toooooo yanmin!! (: (:
ironically, i just had a revelation tonight about the kind of love that God loves me with, and compared to the kind of love i used to get from my old life, i know why love used to suck. so bad. and so. i shall begin on this morose journey through the paaaaaast.
1. the love from people that say they love you and then say they wished they never did. lol.
have you ever met people who told you that they really loved you and they cared about you, and then said that they wished they never did? okay. i have. and here's the revelation. THEY DON'T! who they really care about is, well, themselves. admittedly they may love you but from this you can tell that hey, this is the kind of love that comes with conditions and expectations and disappointments and selfish reasons and many many yucky things. anyway i can frankly say that i've met quite a handful of this kind of people and friends and boyfriends that make you feel that love is sick and painful and absolutely hateful. because being loved is nice and everything, but the thought that someone loving you could cause that person who loves you pain because he/she loves you makes your mind go absolutely crazy making sense out of it that after a while you just think that love stinks. which is true. this really worldly human love thing really does stink. it stinks like bad eggs man. and now i remember why i found it so hard to dump jerks because the love is beautiful and that part is hard to let go even when everything else stinks. hallelujah i'm redeemed from jerks now (: i'd rather people who feel pain loving me just don't love me at all. and save themselves some pain. i'm sorry i don't think it's very noble to love someone when you feel anger and hate towards the love or that person at the same time, and it is sick. girls if any guy ever tells you this kind of shit, just dump him. please. and if you feel pain loving someone, just cut it off. you're both better off without it really.
2. the love from people who say they love you (or show any sign of approval) only when you do something right (in their eyes).
i think this mostly applies to parents : (. well maybe only some or maybe only mine.. basically it's the kind of love that is unconditional but is expressed wrongly because i refuse to believe that my parents could ever stop loving me because i dont do well. i guess they only show approval when i do well because.. i earned it? : ( okay. then that isnt really unconditional i guess. sigh. this is the kind of love that makes a child feel strangely empty inside..
and NOW, back to the present!!!!!!!!! (: this is the really amazing part that you have to read.
*the God kind of love. - God doesn't only love us, He wants to and He loves it!*
surprise, surprise! no surprise at all hahahahahaa it's quite obvious that i would get to this neh.
anyway, it was during HM that i realised that God loves me, as in it sank into my heart. and every day i realise more and more just how deep He loves me. like tonight i had the revelation that hey, God loves me willingly. and He's more than happy to. Love really is a choice! and i know that God chose to love me when He chose to send His son down to die for me so that He CAN love me. and i know that He is HAPPY loving me!!! and that He doesn't expect us to love Him back, He just loves us with all He is without any single expectation. and He's just filled with joy that He can love us freely and give us freely because He couldn't after Adam fell because the unholiness of the human race separated Him from us. and He gave up everything just so that He could love me and just be with me again!! Just as i am!!Just as He is!! fully revealed!! in His glory!!! so that we can be in His glory in His presence fully!! arghhhhhhhhhh!!!
and that is what makes God's love so irresistible. that He doesn't expect anything, and that all He wants is to be with me and to love me for who i am. which is every person's dream to be loved that way. and all He wants is for us to freely enjoy and be happy.and i know that He loves me no matter what i do and that gives me the strength to do anything! knowing that i am always pleasing in His eyes. and that gives me joy like never before. and i can say again that
happy i am
happy i will be
happy IS ME!!!!!!
hallelujah!!!! a joy that is dependent upon something that will never ever change can never ever go away! (:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. -1cor13.
this love here, is God's love, and God Himself. Human love and love based on human effort WILL fail. and ironically, it's kind of the opposite of the whole chapter. it's not that there is anything wrong in Love and loving, but we are born into this world as Adam's descendents, sinners and imperfect by our DNA. and that is why our love fails. especially when we try to make love happen or when we put too much effort into it. and so love isnt really love anymore when it is touched by our inborn imperfections.
but through Christ's sacrifice we are perfect and spotless and without blemish, bornagain!!, and we are part-God, and so we can appreciate and feel and understand God's perfect love (: and we can be a channel for His love to love other people!! and that's the most amazing part... that we can now love each other with the God kind of love, not of ourselves, but fully of God. and we just enjoy the harvests (: hallelujah, like how we are not just blessed, we are walking talking BLESSINGS wherever we go! (:
and so from this i hope that you're blessed with the heart-knowledge that God loves to love you, and to love you for you. without any expectations. with this, we can rest in His love. forever and ever amennnnnn (:
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