silver pantomime`

2005-09-05T02:00:00.000+08:00

by golly molly shmolly

okay. this is what i call running away from the damn complex number problems. no more till 11 tmr. i have had enough of that retarded brain damaging stuff, and boshgosh, my brain is so fried i can smell it sizzling! (fineee, exaggeration on my part.) BUT STILL, this is the most blood-vomiting hair-pulling eye-popping teeth-grinding period of my whole damn life so far. God bless whoever it is out there that's gonna take prelims in a week.

2005-09-02T14:42:00.000+08:00

All that Jesus is, He is for me.
His work is absolutely perfect. On the ground of that, any man can stand right with God.
greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world! and as He was declared righteous, I have been declared righteous.

believing is taking. i believe.

2005-08-18T01:01:00.000+08:00

So this is the way
that I say that I need You
This is the way
This is the way

That I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and
You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive

I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies .

2005-08-14T22:01:00.000+08:00

Pastor Aage - Total Freedom in Christ! (:

today's service was some solid stuff. pastor aage is really annointed! and even though english isn't his mother tongue, there's def no language barrier to the Holy Spirit man (: and i'm so glad for that! ahhhhhhh much grace much grace!

i really want grace to hit me in that shocking astonishing absolutely amazing way that pastor aage was talking about. so much so that it really just transforms me and my life from the inside out.

rom6:14 for sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace.

total freedom in Christ

gal4:22-26
For it is written that Abraham had two sons: the one by a bondwoman, the other by a freewoman. But he who was of the bondwoman was born according to the flesh, and he of the freewoman through promise, which things are symbolic.
For these are the two covenants: the one from Mount Sinai which gives birth to bondage, which is Hagar -- for this Hagar is Mount Sinai in Arabia, and corresponds to Jerusalem which now is, and is in bondage with her children -- but the Jerusalem above is free, which is the mother of us all.

Now we, brethren, as Isaac was, are the children of promise. But as he who was born according to the flesh then persecuted him who was born according to the Spirit, even so it is now.

Nevertheless, what does the Scripture say? "Cast out the bondwoman and her son, for the son of the bondwoman shall not be heir with the son of the freewoman." So then, brethren, we are not children of the bondwoman but of the free.

gal5:1 stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage.

Hagar (law) the bondwoman and her child has been cast out! Ishmael shall not be join heirs with Isaac, the son of Sarah.

so who's in da house?
abraham - faith, sarah - grace, and isaac - the new creation. the law's outta here man! :D:D:D:D

ohhhh man i'm so blessed!! Jesus has gotten sin outta the way and now grace and faith is the new covenant and the law is totally outta the picture. yayy!!!

hahahaha okay i'm gonna have some blessssed sleep now. night!!

2005-08-13T13:32:00.000+08:00

no man is an island

i'm not too sure i like being a continent ..

2005-08-11T22:08:00.000+08:00

and so i'm realising bit by bit what life is about and the choices we make
opportunities come and go and it's not good enough to look back and regret.
i'm waiting for the signs to tell me that this is "the one!"
either way, things are going to happen (even though "the one" may not happen)
and i'll go with the flow and continue living life and
in every season there's gonna be choices to be made (and possible "theoneee"s) and who knows. maybe the best thing's gonna happen next season (:

2005-08-10T09:51:00.000+08:00

happpppppppyyyyyyyy natiooonaaalllll dayyyy!!! :D:D:D:DD (belated)
i caught the super gorgeous fireworks!!!! under some highway.. hahahaha at a place i didn't know existed (: (: what a nice surprise. thanks dear!

OK, anddd i'm gonna go to sch now to mugmugmug! ciao

2005-08-08T22:17:00.000+08:00

mission report!

-change of plans due to unforeseen circumstances, i.e. RAIN, and thus wet weather plan! : sure didn't think up a contingency plan for that. hehehe wellllll lucky people who could have otherwise been pelted with saliva-coated hazelnuts! shall try that again another time.

so anyway, national day celebrations took up most of the morning. ceremonies that went on forever, silly concerts with emcees that tried way too hard, and some cute station games were the highlights for the day. YOHO! there was this hugeeeeeeeee ballooon castle thingy that's like usually meant for kids that me and char had a go at. HAHA! it's so darn fun bouncing around like noone's business! hah, gimme some adult-sized theme parks pleaaaaase!! hahahahaa

hard to imagine that this is gonna be the last year i'm gonna be celebrating events like these old-school style.

2005-08-08T15:37:00.000+08:00

YOHO! hahahahaa yayyyyy new design! i lovelovelove orange hahahaha.
alright nap time man

2005-08-07T20:37:00.000+08:00

the prankster plan!!!!

1. early tmr morning, me and agent C shall buy chocolates that contain nuts in them. (we both hate them!!)
2. proceed to secret high-storey location.
3. consume the outer layers of yummy chocolates.
4. proceed to SPIT THE NUTS ON THE PEOPLE BELOW!!
5. instantaneously take cover behind strategically chosen pillars.
6. repeat points 4-5 until nuts run out.
7. take cover, calm down, and return to civilisation looking perfectly normal.
8. end mission.

Mission reports out tmr!!!

2005-08-05T23:26:00.000+08:00

Majesty, Majesty

Your grace has found me just as I am

Empty handed, but alive in your hands

Majesty, Majesty

Forever I am changed by your love

In the presence of your Majesty

Holy is the Lord

2005-07-24T23:43:00.000+08:00

the battle belongs to the lord.

today, something that pastor mentioned struck me real hard. and it's still ringing in my ears. it goes "seek first the righteousness of God, not your own. the righteousness of God is a gift from God, and it's got absolutely nothing to do with how we perform or what we do. the same way we cannot gain righteousness through our own obedience, neither can we lose it through disobedience."

woooooohoooooooo it's so goooooooooooood!! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D
i've not felt so refreshed in a long time. :D
yoshi!!!!! gonna go sleep now hahahahahaahahahaa

2005-07-19T22:15:00.000+08:00

because in life there will always be choices
and to choose one means to lose the other. for now.

2005-07-08T01:13:00.000+08:00

my Lord, what love is this, that paid so dearly
that I the guilty one may go free?

amazing Love!
what sacrifice
the Son of God has given for me
my debt He paid; my death He died, that i might live

and so they watched him die
despised, rejected
but ohhh
the blood he shed
was all for me.
amazing Love
what sacrifice
the Son of God has given for me

And now, this love cries, shine full like river, so come, wash your guilt away
live again.

2005-06-28T00:58:00.000+08:00

ok. my tagboard is officially screwed up! no one can post anything on it :(
not even all the 'testtesttesttesttest's i tried! blehhhh
gonna change it right now

2005-06-24T20:34:00.000+08:00

more than conquerors in Christ

recently, all i've had is a lot of mugging (with great company of course!), and God to keep me going on through the late nights. It's amazing how just a few days ago i was half dead by midnight and yet for the last 2 days, i've managed to stay up far beyond my witching hour. haha. even my study buddies have commented on how alive i seem. most of the night anyway (:

there are so many times when i wonder if i've lost direction. with the focus on school and all, i feel as if i've left God behind together with all the bible studies, the campus services and what not i've missed. i can't logic out why i'm doing all this, but somehow i know i should and the peace inside me leads me on through this phase. as faithful as the Faithful One can be, He leads me through yet another trial, never letting me go. and i know with surety that i will emerge more than a conqueror on the other side, more blessed than i can imagine! can't wait :D

rom 8:37 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.

2005-06-13T10:32:00.000+08:00

hey man, i'm back!
like finally, the flurry of sch activities has died down and

the mugging officially begins.

thankfully i'm gonna have my darlings around to mug with me to alleviate some of the pain!! (:

2005-05-30T07:45:00.000+08:00

YAY it's the hols!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
yay yay yay!!!!!!!!!!!! service yesterday was awesome (::: i miss cg!!!! loads!!!
hahahahah happy hols!!

2005-05-04T23:37:00.000+08:00

I can only imagine what it will be like

When I walk by your side

I can only imagine what my eyes will see

When your face is before me

I can only imagine.

Surrounded by your glory

What will my heart feel?

Will I dance for you Jesus?

Or in awe of you be still?

Will I stand in your presence?

Or to my knees will I fall?

Will I sing hallelujah?

Will I be able to speak at all?

I can only imagine.

I can only imagine.

For the mountains may depart, and the hills be removed; but my loving kindness shall not depart from you, neither shall my covenant of peace be removed," says Yahweh who has mercy on you. isaiah 54:10

yeahhhhh man!! my God is faithful! (:

2005-05-03T17:01:00.000+08:00

labourless labour day

wheeeeeee!! had a good break during the labour day hols. watched coach carter!!! goood stuff! go catch it! (:

loads of favour in sch recently. undeserved favour, of course. (not that i'm complaining haha) yes yes and yes, Jesus is alive in my life! (: and all glory goes to Him!! and Him alone (:

as we keep our eyes on Him, we are transformed more and more by Him to become more and more like Him. i really don't mind becoming more and more like Jesus Himself really hahaha nothing to lose and everything to gain! and that's all it takes - to keep our eyes on Him. not looking at ourselves or changing ourselves by will which never really worked anyway but by looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith and of us! yay hahahaaaaaaa happy happy!

isn't it wonderful to have holidays? how there's more days to rest PLUS less days to go to school at the same time!!!! it's like a two in one super-deal package man. i love holidays~!! hahahahahaa. pluS, we can go travelling. go atop mountains where it snows all day or dive into the deepest bluest ocean where there's yummy fish all around. yumyum. and then you can just catch some and bring em to shore and eat eat eat. yummmmm yum sashimi!! sushi!! yayyayishi!! i can't wait to grow up and go travelling all around the world with my buddieeeeeeesssss! anyone keeen? :D

hmm, God created sundays for a purpose no? a day of rest and rest only (: 1/7 days a week just for resting (not counting the hours we're sleeping even)!!! i'm pretty sure if all of us really stuck to that we would be feeling alot less tired than we do now. that's probably the optimum work schedule for our physical bodies man. after all, He created us. who would know better?

rightoes. back to research on kant for now!

2005-04-25T22:42:00.000+08:00

you're worth much more.

just how many people realise that they're worth so much more than they think?
to the people around them.
to their family
to their friends
to the people whom their words had unknowingly touched
to those who know that they're so special.
to those who treasure their presence.
to me.

and to God - who sent His Son to die for you. just you.

don't throw yourself away anymore..

2005-04-25T20:45:00.000+08:00

YIPPIE! i have a prosperous future! (:

Jer 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD , "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

yippie! i have a bright bright future! a future as bright as God's promises (: a future that doesn't depend on my circumstances, but solidly on God's Word (: yippieeeee! if He says so, it is so! amen. (:

free and happy days.

yay! great start to the week. went to school happy and left school pretty cheery. classes officially ended at 2pm today. of course, i'm not off this early normally -but- i didn't go for math s today! hahahaha :p so freeeeeeeee today!! i love the feeling of freedom and liberation!!! of having time in your hands to play around and toss around as you like. time to do absolutely nothinggggg hahahaa which made up most of my day (:

so i spent 398709834 seconds staring into the steel blue sky today. sometimes the sky looks so damn beautiful i can't believe it's real. somewhat like Jesus huh? too good to be true kinda thing. takes faith to believe that they're both so darn goooooood. oh yeah. but hey, may as well. since they're both so truly good hhahahahaa!!

2005-04-24T23:49:00.000+08:00

a new skin (: a new life!
it just continually reminds me of my walk with Jesus.
aha!!! HAPPY!!! (: (: (:

with a God this good, how can you not fall in love with Him?

2005-04-20T23:04:00.000+08:00

beautiful day! :D had the pleasure of going with jac for absolutely heavenly island creamy's (?) ice cream!!!! it's REALLY good! esp the cookies and cream (: (: the company was the best part! (:

there's something about sch that makes it so hard to differentiate one day from another. it's like there's a permanent haze surrounding the whole school and i go through every day in a daze. ack. anyhow, i know it's not supposed to be like that, and i know God's gonna do something about it. Daddy, make life more interesting for me! make the days more memorable! it would be rather unsettling to look back 50 years from now to find a void in this time.

would i really be any happier elsewhere?

2005-04-18T23:22:00.000+08:00

turn your eyes upon Jesus

look full in His wonderful face

and the things of this earth will go strangely dim

in the light of His glory and grace.

Hebrews 12:2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

the joy of the Lord is mine! (:

thanks so much gris babe, jac darling, lovely pris, pearlyn dearie for all the encouragement. i love you all (:

2005-04-14T18:45:00.000+08:00

today, someone asked me :
"how can you let your temporary circumstances tell you the heart of your God? for our God is good. regardless of your circumstances."

i don't know. there are so many "why"s i cannot understand. and so many other questions there don't seem to be answers for. why can't He answer me here and now? is it wrong to want to understand before believing?

2005-04-12T14:57:00.000+08:00

blinded by a veil of which i can't find an escape
lost in a darkness i know not of.
life is taking a strange turn towards dullness and sorrow.
i don't know what to do
or how to ask
for God to get me out of here.
....... shit.

2005-04-05T16:49:00.000+08:00

HELLOOOOOOOO!!!! I am back!!!
for a while (:
internet at home is down and so i am left with no choice but to blog in school.
OH MAAAAAN wait till you see what i have found out in galatians! -it's coming up in the next post.-

it's a really powerful secret. shhhhh. don't tell anyone! i mean, tell everyone! X)

laters~!

2005-03-22T22:24:00.000+08:00

well, common tests are here!. again. it's amazing that no matter how many times i go through exams i still get the butterflies in the stomach, the clammy cold hands, the major stoned look and what not. well, the major stoned look sticks even after the exam hahaha. ahhh, i can almost conclude that in half of the exams i take, i go through a period of panicking and mental blockage. like: "AHHH #(*$&! i can't do this!!!" from which thereafter i can't do anything for quite a while hahaha! well, is it just me? :P
ok. admittably, i have to say that i haven't been working smartly nor enough. thank God grace covers me! :) but there's really sth here for me to learn from, and that's that last minute stuff isn't always gonna work and it's so darn tiring. eugh. alrights, going back to preparing for tmr's morning paper! X) hahaha and i'm gonna put it into God's big big big hands!

as a footnote, l had a revelation today! what other people see us as and what we see ourselves as is not who we really are. what God sees us as is the truth of what we really are. and in that, i mean that we are righteous in Christ, children of hope, heirs of God! and that's what i'm gonna keep convincing from now on myself because it is so. i refuse to take anymore lies.

okie! gonna go now. tata!

+taking a hiatus: CTs. plus the playing after the CTs! :D

2005-03-20T23:29:00.001+08:00

in a world of deceit and lies, You've given me truth.
where there is pain and hurt, You provide me with healing.
when my heart grows cold with numbness and apathy,
i find a love i cannot resist in You.

when all the things around me have fallen to the ground;
i'm thankful for the love in You i found.

wheeeeee~ love ya too, Jesus (:

2005-03-20T23:29:00.000+08:00

in a world of deceit and lies, You've given me truth.
where there is pain and hurt, You provide me with healing.
when my heart grows cold with numbness and apathy,
i've found a love i cannot resist in You.

when all the things around me have fallen to the ground;
i'm thankful for the love in You i found.

wheeeeee~ love ya too, Jesus (:

2005-03-19T20:26:00.000+08:00

i used to wonder
how is God going to reach me if i was deaf and blind? to Him? and without a nose and a tongue to smell or taste anything from Him? how is He going to save me if i wasn't even gonna be able to feel Him? if i was completely shut out of His world (even if i chose to be)? a lost case?

18 “The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and regaining of sight to the blind, to set free those who are oppressed, 19 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”

The LORD opens the eyes of the blind; The LORD raises those who are bowed down; The LORD loves the righteous (Psalm 146:8, NKJV).

Aha, then i realised that i didn't really have a choice. He's gonna open my eyes and ears, heal my heart, change my mind, and come get me anyway (: just because He loves me! hahahahahaaha

2005-03-19T19:59:00.000+08:00

wheeee! taking a break from awful mugging.

isaiah 58:11

The Lord will guide you continually;
and satisfy your soul in drough, and strengthen your bones;
You shall be like a watered garden,
and like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.

mmhmmmm! (: made me feel so much better cos a drought is exactly what i'm feeling at the moment - imma shrivelling from the inside out. during praise and worship on tues i rem coach maddy telling us that those of us going through a very dry season should hold fast to isaiah 58:11 (:didn't think it was for me then but i know now that it's meant for me right now! (: hahaha it's amazing how God can provide me sth i need even before i know i need it (: thanks Daddy! hope it refreshes you deeply too (:

hehe. fresh ns guys amuse me. gosh, who would've thought that man could evolve down the evolution ladder? put a large number of guys together in camp for 2 weeks and what comes out are bald apes. and, apparently, what they're like outside is already much better than what they're like in camp. wonder what they do in there. chest-beating, treetop-swinging drills... hmm. who knows.

2005-03-19T16:43:00.000+08:00

How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure,
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure.
How great the pain of searing loss;
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory.

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders;
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers.
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished;
His dying breath has brought me life-I know that it is finished.

I will not boast in anything,No gifts, no power, no wisdom;
But I will boast in Jesus Christ,His death and resurrection.
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer.
But this I know with all my heart:
His wounds have paid my ransom.

2005-03-16T01:01:00.000+08:00

HI GUYS!!!!! NEW THINGAMAJIG!! praise God i am finally able to host music on my blog!!! (: (: please comment on if you can hear this wonderful song by planetshakers (: one of my favourites!!! (:(: [the player bar is under my links. (:] be blessed!! (:

2005-03-14T20:46:00.000+08:00

so much joy love and fun has flooded my life through Jesus Christ (: esp recently (: and i'm not afraid of losing them because i know that the one who gave them to me is unchanging God with unchanging agape love for me(: my part? nothing but keep my eyes on Jesus and my righteousness in His finished work (: the more you know Him, the more you fall in love with Him (: and i am constantly amazed by Him and His love (: Jesus, all glorious! (:

2005-03-14T20:14:00.001+08:00

i've waited all my life to be here face to face
i never knew that i could feel this kind of grace
the way you showed me that your love has washed me clean could never be erased - it lives inside of me.
take me to the secret place where i can only see your face and nothing else will ever feel this way
you take away my guilty stains the things i've done that i can't change it's only by the power of your name
i'm desperate for your touch never needed it so much cos all i want is you
when all the things around me fall unto the ground i'm always thankful for the love in you i found
i stand here in this place
see the glory on your face
i'm taken by the wonder of your name
i'm desperate for your touch i never needed it so much cos all i want is you.

2005-03-12T12:51:00.000+08:00

the funniest thing about this world is that everyone tries so hard to fit in comfortably; only to realise that we never belonged here.

20For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, 21who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body, according to the working by which He is able even to subdue all things to Himself. (Phil 3:20-21 NKJV)

heaven is my true home. (:

2005-03-11T17:22:00.000+08:00

YAY!! THE HOLIDAYS ARE HEREEEEEEEEEE happiness fills my heart!! (: (: (:
sorryyy for not having blogged in a loooong time
haven't been blogging much because i've had nothing much nice to blog about.. anyway, just a few updates to get this going. sherm just went into torturecamp and won't be out for the next 2 weeks or so. poor thingggg.. on the other hand, that means more time for my DARLINGS!!!! HAAHAAHAH yay!! heeee! alrighty gonna go back to doing srp and what not X tata!

2005-03-03T22:34:00.000+08:00

No Greater Calling

Down at Your feet, oh Lord, is the most high place;
In Your presence, Lord, we seek Your face, we seek Your face.

There is no higher calling, no greater honor
Than to bow and kneel before Your throne.
I'm amazed at Your glory, embraced by Your mercy,
Oh Lord, I live to worship You.

ahhhhhh i love this song!!!~!! and today's bible study was awesomeeeeeee!! it was exactly on the topic we were debating about over dinner: grace vs law! and about how many churches still preach half-grace half-law stuff and many other controversies that have been debated over and over again for 2000 years. and GUESS WHAT! the grace versus law debate is OVER. WAS over. 2000 years ago. in chapter of acts~! God is so glorious and merciful!! that He put -the- debate into the Bible so that we do not have to argue it all over agaiN!! haahahah!! hallelujah! just for your benefit, beloved, God put it in acts chapter 15 (: go check it out! i was SO released by the grace and only grace message (it's always grace isn't it? (: ) that pastor preached today~!! the gospel IS grace! the gospel OF grace! amen!! (: and today i received the revelation of His Glory all over again.. Jesus is so glorious, hallelujah! the Glory of God is revealed in Grace! and i am so full of praises for my Lord who showers me with grace, undeserved unmerited unearned favour for the undeserving me (:

praise God, that i am blessed with many yummy durians to feast on. praises be to our Lord Jesus! (: peace and grace be unto you, beloved! (:

thank You Jesus that my life may be full and abundant because of the dispensation of grace. i will live long in Jesus name to learn and experience more of Your grace Lord! (:

2005-03-01T18:13:00.000+08:00

2005-02-28T00:19:00.000+08:00

Daddy, i just wanna thank You for some very special people in my life. they may not know who they are, but that's okay. some have been there to hold me up when i'm at my lowest, some have been there to share my joy at my highest, and some have been there through all of those and still love me for who i am. Daddy, where would i be without them? thank You Daddy, that You've brought me these wonderful blessings to bless my life. babies, you all light fireworks in my heart.

sparkling, sparkling, i will never forget these sparkles. (: what joy they bring to my life! (:

2005-02-24T23:43:00.001+08:00

oooooops. am ashamed to say that i fell asleep to the lulling voice of kenneth copeland's preaching tonight! for about 45 minutes i believe. :p praise God that when He looks at me He sees Jesus and not me for the fleshly me! hallelujah! there is always more than enough abundantly overflowing grace for meeeeeee (: heehee! Jesus loves silly me so much!!

anyway, today was super sucky, but i refuse to dwell on it. school may suck as it is but i'm going to look for the blessings and the life in it. and i am SO believing for a miracle babeh, for the God of turnarounds to turn my situation in school around hallelujah! in the name of Jesus man we are more than conquerors in this world and so it shall be in my life. on to happier stuff. THERE'S A NEW INVENTION IN TOWN!! XD more like classs i mean hahahaha and it's super coool! it's this new dooooodleboaaaard thingamajig. hmm so all you need is a large piece of scotchtape, and any dark surface e.g. a classroom table and you're ready to go!!

how to make your very own dooooodleboard (patented already laaaaaaaaaaa by yours truly~)
1. stick the scotchtape on the table lightly. Secure the edges on the surface. 2. start writing with ANY sharp edge eg. the pen cap or your fingernail or whatever you can lay your hands on 3. TADA!! YOU'VE DOODLED! 4. to erase dooodleboard, pull out one end of scotch tape from table and place back down. --> your dooodleboard is good as newwww!! heeheee! it's the ultimate cheating tool :p heehee. oops by the way i came up with it during math tuuuuutorial!! man, God works in mysterious ways through people hahahahaahahahaaaaaaa! XD

kay. btw,

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY DARLING!!!!! (: (: (:

I HEART EWEEEEEEeeee *_* meow! :D

2005-02-23T20:30:00.000+08:00

NEWS Special on ChannelNewsFantasia.

Hi, and welcome to Prime Time Evening News with Shanshine Jung. I mean Ying. Thank you for tuning in to ChannelNewsFantasia, and here are the top stories for today.

On the international news scene,

RJCLand Dramafest gets the Thumbs Up
RafflesJCLand's local DramaFestival production "Masquerade" has been given five thumbs-up by well-renown RollyWood directors and producers. The production is in town for 2 days before the cast flies off to NeverNeverLand for an encore performance of "NeverEvertobeShownAgain", a much-loved satirical comedy on the life of students in a premiere junior college residing in BishanLand. Masquerade is to be shown from the 24th-25th of February, so get your tickets fast before they are sold out.

On to news closer to home,

SingaWeather too Hot to Handle?
There have been over 400 SingaBushfires occurring in SingaLand since the beginning of this year, which works out to an average of 400+/54 per day. Evidently, even bushes find the weather a little too hot to handle. Many citizens have also felt the sting of the heat, suffering symptoms such as heaviness of head, crossing of eyes, and Prune-ification of their withered bodies. Rumour says that a desperate citizen migrated to the NorthPoleLand in search of better weather conditions.

These are the news for today, and thank you yet again for tuning in to ChannelNewsFantasia. Shanshine Ying reporting, have a pleasant evening, and good night.

2005-02-21T23:35:00.000+08:00

reality bites. the world is approximately 95% death and 5% life.
the life we find will mostly come from the Bible, church, fellowshipping.

which will you choose?

Deut 30:19 I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live.

2005-02-20T16:58:00.000+08:00

Jesus' Way.

It is finished! (john 19:30)
Peace I give to you! (John 20:26)
Do you love Me? (John 21:17)
Follow Me. (John 21:19)

Jesus presents us with a finished work! a perfect finished work (: there is nothing else for us to do, add, or take away. It is complete. we can only accept His gift and say "thank You Jesus!"
Wider than the skies is Your love for me Lord! sweeter than wine! (: and with our foundation built upon the solid Rock, we are immutable. we may shake, we may shiver, but we will never be moved. Jesus never fails! Hallelujah! and peace that He gives not as the world gives reigns in my heart (: somehow, even though the world may harden my heart like stone, God's love for me never fails to amaze me and bring me to my knees. Because for God to have sent His Son to die for me, God must love me with all His heart, all His soul and all His mind. Why is one of those questions that will never be answered, and never need to be. He just does. Unconditionally. Constantly. a Truth that doesn't change with time, circumstances, or feelings. You're my Hero Jesus! (: (: (:

Time is not an issue anymore.

2005-02-16T22:53:00.000+08:00

DADDY'S SO GOOD!! praise Jesus!! divine protectionnnnnn (:
earlier tonight when i was on the way home on the bus, this indian (or bangledeshi or dunno what race) construction worker was on the bus too and he was just openly staring at me the whole trip!! it was quite freaky. and then when i got off at my stop he got off too and walked off in the opposite direction. AND THEN, a minute later, he appeared at my side!!!! ._. so i started praying in tongues and wishing really hard that someone will come and save me and then my Dad drives by and i hop in and i am safe!!! and saved!! hallelujah! oh man, talk about right persons at the right time at the right place man. God is SO good!! hallelujah! psalm 91 is all over me (: amen amen aaaamen! talking about psalm 91, while reading it i received a really cool revelation!!! ahaha! X)

so psalm 91 says:

1 He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

and like i always wondered what on earth is the shadow of the Almighty exactly, then i read some references and they led me to Isaiah 32:2 which says:

A man will be as a hiding place from the wind,
and a cover from the tempest,
as rivers of water in a dry place,
as the shadow of a great rock in a weary land.

Jesus!! Jesus = rock!! weary land!! and in this context we can see the shadow of the rock is a place of refuge for those in the weary land! a refuge from the wearisome world and a refuge from the heat of the world! hallelujah! the shadow is a place where we can find refuge, recharge, and be refreshed!
He IS our place of rest, amen, and since we are permanently in the secret place of the Most High=theholyofholies, then we must also be constantly abiding under the shadow of the Almighty! which means that we're permanently in that place of rest, where we can find refuge, recharge and be refreshed!! praise God! truly, greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world (: thank You Jesus! oh man, i am so blessssed hallelujah!

AND this concurs with the cherubims that look onto the mercy seat! with their wings and thus the shadow of their wings covering the mercy seat (: and we are so on the mercy seat!! (: amen! we are under His divine protection as well!! hallelujah! oh man ooomph i'm so refreshed!

ahahaha thanks Holy Spirit for revealing this uber cool stuff to me man! i am so encouraged man! heee! kay i'm physicallly tired so i'm gonna go sleep sleep! see you darlings tmr!! or soon! (: love you alllll

2005-02-16T00:35:00.000+08:00

some things just aren't worth getting angry/sad/disappointed/mad/pissed/emotional over.
many things.
most things.
nothing in the world or my circumstances is worth it.
nothing on the outside is worth the peace i've obtained on the inside.
and it's just not worth getting upset and losing the peace over something so natural and in the world.

Jesus went through so much on the crosss just to buy me real peace!
we have real peace of mind now because we are now at peace with God through His blood.
it's just not worth it getting angry, and letting something so small and worthless
take away this priceless peace that Jesus bought for me.

you're right babehhhhh, it's all about the cross (:

2005-02-14T23:10:00.000+08:00

who am i?
that the eyes that see my sin
would look on me with love
and watch me rise again

who am i?
that the voice that calmed the sea
would call out through the rain
and calm the storm in me

not because of who i am
but because of what you've done
not because of what i've done
but because of who You are

Jesus. i am Yours! (:

2005-02-12T09:41:00.000+08:00

hi!! i've lost count of chu-what it is today. guess i'm over the fact that the chinese new year ang bao collecting season is over. that's ok i guess!! there's still loooooooads of cny gooodies to feast on!! (:

yesterday was super duper uber fun!! played basketball kind of like the whole day out in the hot sun and then me and sherm teamed up against 3 small boys who were TOTALLY always coming after me because i'm the da jie who can't guard the ball at all -_-
hahaha yeah and the little boy that was marking me was patrick from that chinese serial kuai le yu or double blessings or dunno what. yeah and he's super cute and laughs madly when he dribbles the ball annnd he's quite violent :p hahaaha. kids are super cute la!

ah anyway yesterday i had a revelation of God's protection over me!! sherm was talking about how if God was his shield, he has absolutely nothing to worry about. Because, well, God is God!
and then this picture of Jesus standing in between me and this round of bullets acting as a human shield came to my mind! and i was like : O He's literally our shield!! oh man He's literally a human shield!!!!!
and like any arrows from the devil that come shooting our way, he intercepts them and takes them on His own body. and He did that on the cross!!! any condemnation that comes my way, He takes the blame and the sin and the shame. He took whatever crap shit that can be thrown at me for me! on the cross! and He's my shield in every aspect of my life! all through the cross. oh man! >_<>
hallelujah praise You Lord for Your finished work on the cross! ahahahahaa God is so good man! >_< my Daddy's so gooooood (:

k i'm feeling so super duper ultra refreshed now by that revelation! (: heeee. i'm gonna get back to downing pineapple tarts like water for now. yum!

2005-02-11T01:45:00.000+08:00

hi!! it's chu er today! and 2nd day of hong bao collecting (: super blessed proceeds! heeeheeee 600+ so far. that's more than any other year prior to this i think!! surely this is a year of overflow (: amen! God is just soooooooo goooood!

tonight's dinner was aweeesomeeeeeee. the extended family of 25-30 members kind of made a huge racket at the restaurant :p isn't that what cny is all about? hahahaha (: dearest xiangmin came back from shanghai!! and the childhood trio was back together again. mmhmm and it was 5 of us stuffing ourselves with food enough for 10 people yes?! x_x i was extremeeeely full after that hahaha! and before dessert the 2 of them wanted to go off to walk around already and i was like NO sit down and finish it we've come this far we can't give up!! ahahahahaha yep and so they obligingly sat down and forced the red bean soup down their throats hahahaa. and after that i had to sit there for about 5 minutes before i could move to walk with them haha yep and then we went to the video games arcade in the club and wheeeeee i likEEEeeee. at first xiangmin was like "cheh, i'm too old for this" (mind you she's a year younger than me HAHA) but when she saw the other 2 of us having soooo muchhhhh funnnnnnn she couldn't hold herself back and we raced on daytona!!! wheeeheehee and yes i owned them :p woohoo! it was just so fun seeing everyone together again.. whoa. imagine what it'd be like in heaven! where we're all one big family (: what a huge family feast we'd have after the rapture dearies!! (: can't wait to see all of you up there (:

anyway, something REALLY COOL HAPPENED TODAY!! ok here the story goesssss.
during the late afternoon today, some of my dad's friends came over with their kids. and i couldn't be bothered to go entertain them because i hadn't bathed and changed after clearing up the house and stuff. so i decided to bum online! wheeeee. bum bum bum bummed and then all of a sudden my mum rushes upstairs and tells me to hurry up and go down because there's this girl that can compose hymns right downstairs! and i was like WHAT?! then i ran downstairs and sat there, and then the girl started singing her own compositions of Jesus-centred songs! imagine that!!! beautiful melodies with glorious lyrics like "Jesus i trust in You because You are the Lord" and i could really feel the annointing on her! like halfway a chill ran up my spine and i felt like that was something REALLY really special that i just witnessed man. the annointing of the Holy Spirit upon her! and guess what. SHE'S JUST PRIMARY 2!!!! whoa man!!!! annointed little girl!!! and she was so bold about singing for everyone man. i can just see so much Jesus in her!! gosh. and after that i wasn't feeling sian anymore and i was so refreshed!! imagine that! (: blessed right in my own house (: seriously, God blesses me in the most extraordinary, surprising and refreshing ways! (: thank You Lord! (:

and guess what! something else REALLY COOL HAPPENED TODAY TOO!! ahahaha double blessings!!
a few days ago, my cousin came online and confided in me that her precious doggie went missing and has been missing for like a day and she couldn't find it even after she combed the neighbourhood. so i was like comforting her and stuff, and i prayed for her that Daddy will surely find the dog back for her, or restore her 7 times in quantity and quality. and of course she didn't really believe in whatever we prayed because at times like that the fire of trouble looks bigger than even the sea of grace surrounding you. so she was like ah ok...i hope so.. and went offline to find her dog again!! yes that's how precious her dog is to her man!

yep and today she came to bai nian, and she told me that 3 days after i'd prayed for her SHE FOUND HER DARLING DOGGIE!!! like it just happened that her neighbour was walking their own dog and then passed by some pet shop quite nearby and she saw my cousin's dog outside the pet shop and the shop owner was about to take him home! and oh man so she took him back to my cousin!!how close man!!! whoa so my cuz was really happy and everything and she was thanking me for praying for her and it just happened that my mum overheard it!!! and my mum was amazed and now my mum's asking me to pray for her too! of course it's quite obvious that it really isn't about me praying but it's about the glory and goodness of Jesussss man!! all glory to Jesus!! oh man, i really pray that my mum will be even more open to the gospel and that my family will be saved (: yes they will!! (: oh man, like pastor prince said, grace also manifests in the form of serendipity: you find it when you aren't looking for it and it just blesses you so much! like how the neighbour found the dog.. how my mum happened to overhear.. argh!! coincidence? God is too good for that. wouldn't be doing Him justice to say that that was all coincidence yeah? (:

anyway, it's been such a blessed day. i can't say that nothing bad happened today, but i can say that i chose to see God's goodness and grace in it more than the bad. the same way Daddy tells us to to focus on the truths rather than the facts of the natural staring right out at us. facts can change; truths are immutable. i'm going with the voice of Truth! amen~! (:
i really am so blessed (: thank you Lord that you see me through the seasons of my life.

2005-02-10T13:05:00.000+08:00

The Voice Of Truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
AND onto the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy, you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out my name
And he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth

But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them lookin' down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me

But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe-

I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth.

2005-02-08T20:32:00.000+08:00

Cattell's 16 Factor Test Results

Warmth	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Intellect	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Emotional Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	34%
Aggressiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	34%
Liveliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	86%
Dutifulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Social Assertiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Sensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	38%
Abstractness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	82%
Introversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	38%
Anxiety	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Openmindedness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Independence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Perfectionism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	26%
Tension	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	38%

Take Cattell 16 Factor Test (similar to 16pf)
personality tests by similarminds.com

hohohoho! that's interestingggggggg. hmm. i wonder what Jesus' one is like! : D

anywayyyyyyy, HAPPY CHINESE NYUU YEAR!! heehee. what a wonderful day!!!! (: yay! engine won 2nd for decor! hahaha praise God man (: kudos to toni and cali for tying everything together. like. literally and figuratively. hahahaaaaa (: yay!!

SO TODAY WAS LIKE THE FUNNEST DAY EVER THIS YEAR
like a bunch of us ex-rg girls from rj went to crash hc and like it was SO SO SOSOSOSOSO nice seeing everyone again!!! and laughing together and having fun trying to dance the silly giddifying mass dances! hahahahahaa oh man i still miss sec 4 like nuts!! and meeting penny was just so nice!! hahaha like she reminded me of all the fun we had during our trip to new zealand in sec 3 for geog and all her salads and cereals hAHAHAHAhahahaa and her thick thick jacket and all the funny stuff hahahahaha. anyway penny if you're reading this HI!!! tag!! :D penny penny bo benny banana fanna fo fanny fee fi mo manny, penny! ahahahaa yeeeeep i'm high

yes SO anyway there was like amy and huizhen and risseeeeeeee and nurul and joanna and huiru and who-else-i-can't-remember that we met or saw in hc!!! ahhhhhh!! so fun!! like everyone's coming back together again!! aiyarrrrr -major reminiscing session-yep and of course FAITHEEEEEE hahahhaa and CLAIRIEEEEE and etc etc. and all i can say is that i had so much fun talking to and meeting them again! and of course there was my darlinggggg jac!!!! who was dance i/c of some funny apollo fac i think and the dance was REALLY GOOD and it was especially good with her leading the dance. you go girl!!! can't wait for cg or campusss~!!! heehee.

and surprise! i met an ex-scgps girl that was with jac and her name is guan jing (?) and like we realised that we had attended the same ballet classes in psch with the same dance teacher mr fernando donato HAHA so we were probably like in the same ballet class and everything just that we didn't know each other! ahhhhh yeah so anyway it's so nice making a new yet old friend hahaha.

ok and after all the fun at hc a bunch of us ex-412ers went down to kbox to SING OUR LUNGS OUT! woohooo!! and it was just absolutely crazy like our sec 4 times and so fun and everything. a big triple plus point was that the food was pretty good! mmmmm chicken choppppppppp. we must we must we must do that again! hahahaah!! wheeeeee!!

ok. guess what! tonight is TUAN YUAN FAN NIGHT! a.k.a. reunion dinner night. HOW COOL HUH! and guess what!! i invited Jesus to come eat with us and He agreed muahahahaha everything's gonna taste even better in His presence! hahahaa amen (: yep and everyone be aware that through Jesus we are secure in prosperity because poverty is a curse of the law and we are redeemed from the curse + blessed over that many times over by the blood!! look forward and expect to receive PLENTyYYyyYYY during this chinese new year (: enjoy!!! (: blesssssssed are weeeeee the children of the lighttt (:

2005-02-08T01:11:00.000+08:00

HALLO!!! WHAT A GREAT DAY IT IS!!!!
today, i -finally- managed to believe much more about what pastor has been preaching recently!!! which basically is that 1. we should pray in tongues as often as possible and any time we can, and 2. seek the grace of God in our lives because when we see God's grace revealed, God sees our faith! and without faith we cannot be pleasing in God's eyes yeah? it's amazing how this is even found in the old testament! a.k.a. Enoch! (: in genesis 5. and Enoch walked with God. me too me too me too man!! (: (:

ok so anyway something really amazing happened today.
and that is that.....

i was happy and positive and looking towards God the -whole- day in school! my golly jolly sholly!!! it's like. a miracle!! i think it mainly happened because i kinda knew that there wasn't gonna be classes for the next week. but oh man, i was really enjoying myself and being myself and cracking stupid jokes and everything?! and i was really enjoying myself IN SCHOOL!
and then God told me that "see, this is what i mean by do not worry, and especially do not worry about tomorrow darling" and then -gasp- i had the revelation that. well. i can take it that today's like the only day of school ever, and that i don't have to worry about or dread all the days of school ahead of me (esp those sickening common tests and exams and boring lessons) AT ALL!! that's what it means!!!! and i am like whoa yes now i've gotten a taste of what it's supposed to be man and boy is it good! God is so good you know! gosh, He just absolutely loves to see me enjoying myself hahahahaaha.

yep so anyway i was so happy and stupidly funny and everything that people around me started becoming really happy and cracking stupid not-funny-but-funny-to-me jokes too! yay!! i just love to see people around me happy!! and like the joy of the Lord is just so contagious it infects everyone around you yeah?

Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the spirit which is of God; that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God. I Corinthians 2:12

God gave us the Holy Spirit not as a means to give us the good things, because as children of God, we have ALREADY received the bestest blessing from God ever! through Jesus Christ! through the cross! we are now children of the light! we are on redeemed and ultra supernaturally blessed ground! so what did He give us the Holy Spirit for?
He gave the Holy Spirit that we might KNOW that we HAVE already overflowingly abundantly received all the blessings from God! and God having already released all His blessings, healing, etc etc everything good upon us is a truth. however, if we didn't know about it, we wouldn't be able to ENJOY alllllll His wonderful blessings! and that's only to our disadvantage and chagrin. we would probably be worrying about everything as we would in the natural, like our future, whatever aspect of life, etc etc. however, we have to realise that our futures have already been redeemed on the cross, and that we cannot help but have an amazingly blessed future, because God took all of time, past present future and eternity and everything and put them all on the cross. basically, the same way our present was and is settled at the cross, so was and is our future! amen! so know that, and be secure in it. most of all, do not worry (: and enjoy!

btw, have a great chinese new year (: roar (:

2005-02-05T23:03:00.000+08:00

well it comes down to this

juliet she's caught on to the clues

you know the one's that she missed

the one's that we knew

now she's got the news

she understands

she's not all wrapped up in the palm of his hands

juliet she won't come down

her head's high in the castle her hearts underground

it's as if "she didn't know"

the truth about romeo

the tables have turned

juliet she's got this brand new idea

and a few lessons that she's learned

how could she be so blind

in a spotlight so clear

now she understands

she's not all wrapped up in the palm of his hands

juliet...what if he did love her

it sure did not show

there's a certain kind of sincerity

and when you know you'll know

i think she should go now

the truth doesn't lie

the truth doesn't lie.

2005-02-05T21:33:00.000+08:00

hi i'm back!!! after a long week! wheeeeee super tired and stuff.
zzzz been home no earlier than 10pm everyday and it's ultra tiring man BUTTT
the joy of the Lord is my strength!! :D :D
ok, i've been like going through spiritual lows and i've just got to keep my eyes on Jesus! pray for me ok?
i'd keep believing that there's always much much more than enough grace for me and you!!
and i wish my cursed tongue could stop saying horrid things i never meant to people i care for so much ahahahah but no one can tame the tongue, no? so i'd leave the Holy Spirit to take over more (: cos i belieeeeeveeeeee in Jesus! (: and He sees me through the seasons good and bad!(: i remember, Lord, i'm remembering again.

Jesus. Nails. Blood. Pain. Death. Tomb. Empty. Joy. Promise. Life. Savior!

2005-01-29T09:44:00.000+08:00

praise God! (: mummy actually allowed me to go for bible study last night even though i was absent from school.. (cos i was sick laaaaaaaaaa :p) yeah. it was some horrid stomach ache thingy that came in waves. ok nevermind let's leave the sordid details out yes? thing is she didn't let me go for the cg girls' night thingy and she allowed me to go for bible study! supernatural favour man (: the Word was what i really needed. then after bible study went for yummy yummy dinner and that's when i realised that the stomach pains i had were gone!! haahah!! praise God man! it's like i didn't even realise i was healed.. (:

for bible study, God spoke to me about my problems and praise God He spoke the solutions! (: (: (: like sherm said, "i'm gonna go for bible study cos God's gonna speak to me" and like YAY man He does He does! (: hallelujah, my God is such a good God (: thanks Daddy!

yayeeeeeeeee there's cg later~! (:

Dance with me

Dance with me, oh Lover of my soul
To the Song of all Songs
Romance me, oh Lover of my soul
To the song of all songs

Behold You have come over the hills
Upon the mountain
To me You have run

my Beloved, You've captured my heart

With You I will go, You are my love
You are my fair one
Winter is passed
And the springtime has come

Lord, i've come to learn the weaknesses i see in me will be stripped away by the power of Your Love (:

2005-01-28T14:33:00.000+08:00

Be still, and know that I am God.

psalm 46:10

don't just do something, stand there.

2005-01-27T22:32:00.000+08:00

gonna remember to live the let go, bochap life (: gonna sleep soon! i'm gonna stop worrying aboutthe unfinished GP essay. plus the other tons of work. i'm gonna put little me into Daddy's big hands. as Jesus' told me, "SO WHAT?" to put it crudely. "do you believe in the SUPERnatural preferential treatment called grace? what about abundant supernatural favour? you are so extremely abundantly favoured. whether you feel it or not. yes, you are sosososso loved" yes, i'm the apple of His eye (: and He's brought me sooo far, He's gonna bring me all the way. (: amen. like finally i feel more at rest.

(: Lord, i commit tommorow into Your hands. You created the heavens and the earth, and your hands are mighty hands. in fact, the mightiest hands! i'm just gonna keep my eyes on Jesus, and Jesus will get bigger and bigger while my problems get smaller and smaller. the bigger the problem, the easier for Jesus. amen!! (: release me from this bondage Lord, of worry and care. everything is in Your hands now Lord, i wash them off mine and cast them to You. woohoo! transform me from a worry-wart into a Jesus-conscious carefree too-cool daughter man! in Jesus' sweet sweet and mighty name, aaaaaaamen.

heehee! Jesus makes me happy.

~kudos to desmond for saying "revelations of psalm 118 for yinshan who's turning 18!" hahahahaha
~accolades to deborah for edifying me with revelations of God's grace in my school life (: don't know what i'd do without you! gonna put them into practice.
~miss you lovely lovely lovely pris.. where's my irresistible sister beeen?
~JAC!! see you on sat k! i miss you like maaaaaad. i know you're right when you say that i should know what i expect from school and just go by that. amen!

2005-01-27T18:44:00.000+08:00

1 peter 2, psalm 118 (:

HEY GUYS!! haahahaha. i am so blessed by the following verses!! revelation!! (: was reading 1 peter 2 and then i came to the "coming to Him as to a living stone" part, and i was wondering what on earth it meant. cos well usually stone means law and stuff. yeah and here's where i was reading:

The Chosen Stone and His Chosen People

4Coming to Him as to a living stone, rejected indeed by men, but chosen by God and precious, 5you also, as living stones, are being built up a spiritual house, a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.

6Therefore it is also contained in the Scripture, "Behold, I lay in Zion A chief cornerstone, elect, precious, And he who believes on Him will by no means be put to shame." 7Therefore, to you who believe, He is precious; but to those who are disobedient,
"The stone which the builders rejected Has become the chief cornerstone,"
8and "A stone of stumbling And a rock of offense." They stumble, being disobedient to the word, to which they also were appointed.

so i looked up the definitions of cornerstone in the bible dictionary plus normal english dictionary

definitions of cornerstone
Corner-stone (Job 38:6; Isa. 28:16), a block of great importance in binding together the sides of a building. The "head of the corner" (Ps. 118:22, 23) denotes the coping, the "coign of vantage", i.e., the topstone of a building. But the word "corner stone" is sometimes used to denote some person of rank and importance (Isa. 28:16). It is applied to our Lord, who was set in highest honour (Matt. 21:42). He is also styled "the chief corner stone" (Eph. 2:20; 1 Pet. 2:6-8). When Zechariah (10:4), speaking of Judah, says, "Out of him came forth the corner," he is probably to be understood as ultimately referring to the Messiah as the "corner stone."

and also, An indispensable and fundamental basis.

ooooooo. cool stuff huh totally describes how Jesus is our Rock, yes? and how He's like the pillar that holds up our world! amen!! PLUS our Lord set in highest honour!! amen~!!!

then i wanted to find out moreee, so i decided to follow those little links and commentaries and i was led to psalm 118!! which is soooooo full of Jesus man!! and like new testament-styled talking! that's when i realised that God has always been the same good God full of desire to bless us, just that we didn't use to be His people/children until Jesus came to die for us, and then the good news came to US! amen!
and lo lo lo and behold when i read more of peter i found 1 peter 2:10 which is exactly what i just had a revelation of ahahaha!! oh man!!! yes and amen man! Jesus is so precious man!!

1 peter 2:9 But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; 10who once were not a people but are now the people of God, who had not obtained mercy but now have obtained mercy.

(: (: (: (: (: and here's the absolutely wonderful Jesus-filled psalm 118!

psalm 118

1 Give thanks to the LORD, who is good,
whose love endures forever.

2 Let the house of Israel say:
God's love endures forever.

3 Let the house of Aaron say,
God's love endures forever.

4 Let those who fear the LORD say,
God's love endures forever.

5 In danger I called on the LORD;
the LORD answered me and set me free.

6 The LORD is with me; I am not afraid;
what can mortals do against me?

7 The LORD is with me as my helper;
I shall look in triumph on my foes.

8 Better to take refuge in the LORD than to put one's trust in mortals.

9 Better to take refuge in the LORD than to put one's trust in princes.

10 All the nations surrounded me;

in the LORD'S name I crushed them.

11 They surrounded me on every side;

in the LORD'S name I crushed them.

12 They surrounded me like bees; they blazed like fire among thorns;
in the LORD'S name I crushed them.

13 I was hard pressed and falling, but the LORD came to my help.

14 The LORD, my strength and might, came to me as savior.

15 The joyful shout of deliverance is heard in the tents of the victors:
"The LORD'S right hand strikes with power;

16 the LORD'S right hand is raised;

the LORD'S right hand strikes with power."

17 I shall not die but live and declare the deeds of the LORD.

18 The LORD chastised me harshly, but did not hand me over to death.

19 Open the gates of victory; I will enter and thank the LORD.

20 This is the LORD'S own gate, where the victors enter.

21 I thank you for you answered me;

you have been my savior.

22 The stone the builders rejected has become the cornerstone.

23 By the LORD has this been done;

it is wonderful in our eyes.

24 This is the day the LORD has made;

let us rejoice in it and be glad.

25 LORD, grant salvation! LORD, grant good fortune!

26 Blessed is he who comes in the name of the LORD. We bless you from the LORD'S house.

27 The LORD is God and has given us light.

Join in procession with leafy branches up to the horns of the altar.

28 You are my God, I give you thanks; my God, I offer you praise.

29 Give thanks to the LORD, who is good,

whose love endures forever.

2 humongously enlightening commentaries:

3 [22] The stone the builders rejected: a proverb: what is insignificant to human beings has become great through divine election. The "stone" may originally have meant the foundation stone or capstone of the temple. The New Testament interpreted the verse as referring to the death and resurrection of Christ

4 [25] Grant salvation: the Hebrew for this cry has come into English as "Hosanna." This cry and the words in psalm 118:26 were used in the gospels to welcome Jesus entering the temple on Palm Sunday

from the first commentary on the stone part, we can see that it's the death and resurrection of Christ which is the pillar and cornerstone of our christian walk! (:

and we can see so much of Jesus revealed in psalm 118! like in verse 6, it's exactly like in romans 8!!! omg!!

psalm 118:6 The LORD is with me; I am not afraid; what can mortals do against me?

romans 8:31-32 If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for all of us -- how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

AND "savior" is mentioned so many times, and we know that's like a shadow of our Jesus yes? and like whenever the "savior" appears, the verses immediately after are ALL full of victory and blessings!! amen!~!!

15

The joyful shout of deliverance is heard in the tents of the victors: "The LORD'S right hand strikes with power" [NIV]

15The voice of rejoicing and salvation Is in the tents of the righteous; "The right hand of the LORD does valiantly. " [NKJV]

in verse 15, we can see that even in old testament, it's what we, the righteous and the victors, speak and confess that has SO MUCH POWER! and we profess the victory of the Lord man! salvation is ours! (: and the Lord's right hand is a typification of Jesus! so basically it says Jesus strikes with power, Jesus does valiantly!! amen!!

hahahaah it's just amazing how the old testament can be so darn full of Jesus. we can see so much more of Jesus when the Holy Spirit guides us! (: hallelujah, amen! (: thank You Jesus for letting me see more of You (: i want to know You more (: !

2005-01-24T22:34:00.000+08:00

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures

Green pastures were not the natural terrain of Judea. The hills around Bethlehem where David kept his flock were not lush and green. Even today they are white and parched. Any green pastures in Judea is the work of some shepherd. He has cleared the rough, rocky land. Stumps have been torn out, and brush has been burned. Irrigation. Cultivation. Such are the work of a shepherd.

Hence, when David says, "He makes me to lie down in green pastures," he is saying, "My shepherd makes me lie down in his finished work." With his own pierced hands, Jesus created a pasture for the soul. He tore out the thorny underbrush of condemnation. He pried loose the huge boulders of sin. In their place he planted seeds of grace and dug ponds of mercy.

And he invites us to rest there. Can you imagine the satisfaction in the heart of the shepherd when, with work completed, he sees his sheep rest in the tender grass?

Can you imagine the satisfaction in the heart of God when we do the same? His pasture is His gift for us. THis is not a pasture that you have made. Nor is it a pasture that you deservce. It is a gift of God. "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God." (Eph 2:8 NIV)

In a world rocky with human failure, there is a land lush with divine mercy. Your Shepherd invites you there. He wants you to lie down. Nestle deeply until you are hidden, buried, in the tall shoots of his love, and there you wll find rest.

(: (: (:

2005-01-21T17:15:00.000+08:00

what do you define yourself as?

i'd stick with this one (:

romans8
14because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 15For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”
16The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. 17Now if we are children, then we are heirs–heirs of God and coheirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

and i found the answer to my dilemma and confusion yesterday in my bible!!! (:

26In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. 27And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

!!!! exactly what i needed.. amen!!

daaaaaaaarn goooooood romans 8 is!!!!! can't wait to find out more more more!!! (: love ya Daddy! thank You for the life, the bible,Your Word!, the GRACEEEE! that You purchased for me on the cross (: (: (: (: most of all thank You for Jeeeeesusss and for becoming my Daddy. what a great Dad You are maaaaaan!! (:

2005-01-21T01:32:00.000+08:00

hi Daddy
i can't remember how to pray right now.

i feel bankrupt but i know i'm not
because You fill me.

the spirit man never sleeps.
i'm gonna play pastor prince's sermons to sleep then.
gdnite.

2005-01-16T22:14:00.000+08:00

priority.[click to watch]

Lord, i'm not gonna be distracted anymore.
i'm just gonna sit at Jesus' feet, and listen to His word.
i'm not gonna give the same excuse again, "right after this Jesus, after i put out this one more fire."
i know that the devil will only light another, just as the one i'm trying to put out starts to die out.
i'm not gonna bother with the fires around me, because i'm not the solution to any of them.
You are, Lord. You are my Fireman!! (:
and i want You to know that Your word is more important to me than those fires, as how i'm more important to You than anything.
and i know, Jesus, that You care for me so (:

2005-01-15T14:13:00.000+08:00

homework, paid by the blood. (:

in all seriousness, that's my homework list for this weekend. hahaha!
and in all reverence, my homework has been paid for by Jesus' blood!! there is absolutely no condemnation for me in -any- way, even in school. amen. because Jesus' blood paid for all my sins, forgetfulness, tardiness in school many times over at the cross. yes and amen!!! (: and i love Daddy alot. thanks Daddy!

2005-01-15T13:50:00.000+08:00

hey maaaan. like finally i'm BACK!!
school's been getting to me :(
i come home at 10+ 11 everyday and i just collapse in bed hahahaha
it's been a pretty tough week and i can only take and take and take more grace.
i can only say that i am so so tired.

thank You Lord that You take my burdens and my cares in the crown of thorns. how many times do i have to reach the end of myself before i finally let go? hahahaha. i forgot just how good God is and how my Daddy wants me so carefree. thankfully, there's always enough grace for me and much more!! (: thanks Daddy that You never let me go.

You said, "Ask and you will receive whatever you need."
You said, "Pray and I'll hear from heaven,
and I'll heal your land."

You said, "Your glory will fill the earth
Like water the sea."
You said, "Lift up your eyes;
The harvest is here, the kingdom is near."

You said, "Ask and I'll give the nations to you."
O Lord, that's the cry of my heart.
Distant shores and the islands will see
Your light as it rises on us.

Hahahahaha gosh!! it's amazing how a good christ-centred song could lift my spirits so much (: why am i even surprised?! hahaha.
everyone's probably at the tsunami donation drive thingy now!! but i've a senior-junior class party later on that i'm half-organising and so can't miss.. i really really want to be in church right now, in the house of God, where God is more real than school, than friends, than anything else in this world. Daddy, i take the grace to take that out of church and into my life wherever i am. because You -are- more real than anything in this world!

and when i have my eyes upon Jesus, the things of this world grow strangely dim. actually, everything i see starts to clear up! and everything comes into perspective.
like priorities, realising that problems that aren't actually there aren't actually there, and solutions i've never seen before. the appeal of the world grows strangely dim, yes? hahaha. argh! Jesus is just so amazing!! hahahahaa.

kay. i'm gonna be blessed blessed blessed now with Jesus' sweet sweet presence. gtg! (:

2005-01-10T23:28:00.000+08:00

omg!!! Jesus is touching my family!!! it's happening it's happening!! i affirm it in Jesus' name !! Amen!! (: (: i'm just gonna be the window through which my family can see God's glory. and i'm not even gonna try! i'm just gonna be me and Jesus will do the work. i mean, it's all done at the cross already, yes? duhhhh. hahaha.

Jesus works in me, with me, through me. go Jesus go do Your stuff!! (: i'm just gonna do what pastor loves to say: relaaaaaack oneeeeeee corneeeRRRRrrrr!! yay! slack me! (: praise God amen hallelujah! (:

We live in a free world

I whistle down the wind

Carry on smiling

And the world will smile with you

Life is a flower

So precious in your hand

Carry on smiling

And the world will smile with you (:

When every race is run

And the day is closing in

I don’t care about the world

I’m living for the light

Don’t cry for me today, ah-ah ah...

We live in a free world

I whistle down the wind...~~~~

gosh i ADORE this song!!! it's actually a worldly song, but look how aptly it describes our high-life in Jesus! woohooo!! how beautiful. it's so uppity and everything and boy, it speaks truth! hahaahah! (: heeeeee. anyone who knows how to make mp3s play on blogs please teach me! (: wanna put this song up! hahaah!

the joy of the Lord cannot be taken away (:

oh yay wheeeeeeeeee i'm gonna soarrrrr!! (: (: (:

2005-01-09T20:13:00.000+08:00

hey Daddy, Jesus found me again.

Jesus, thanks for finding me, and bringing me back into Your arms again. i tried to do things my way, and i screwed up. again. is it any surprise? Geez man. -slaps forehead- You know me too well, Jesus. that i'm stubborn and silly like a sheep, and that i'd stray time and again. i walk in big circles and get lost, and somehow You never abandon me.
when i finally call for You (when i realise yet again how i can -never- get things right), You come straight for me and carry me once again, smiling at me like You do. Jesus, why do you love me and care for me so? i will never comprehend it.
gosh, now that i'm back, i remember how easy things are when they are in Your hands and not mine. shucks. i'm one heck of a forgetful sheep. thank You Jesus, that You are so faithful. i know that when i forget again, which i will probably do soon (to my chagrin), You will come for me yet again, and i will always be back in Your arms safely, carried on Your shoulders. thanks Jesus, love you too. i'd rest in You now, as long as i remember to. (: i know that one day i won't forget anymore. right, Jesus?

2005-01-09T20:01:00.000+08:00

You hold my world

in the palm of Your hand

and i am Yours forever.

2005-01-08T13:27:00.000+08:00

schooldays

my heart fills with gladness and relief that the first week of school has finally ended!! hahahahaa.
okay. i can't say that i don't miss the hols because i'm a lazy bumbum, but school's been surprisingly smoothsailing. HAHA then again, i've really got to realise that bringing Jesus to school can only bring good things!! (: i shouldn't even feel surprised man.

yesterday was faculty initiation day for the j1s, and everything looked like it was going to screw up really bad because of how our time was shortened from 8-1330 to 9-1130. cos they had to leave to go for a last-minute donation drive for tsunami victims. all for a good cause anyway.

had station games and stuff, and my station was pure chaos hahaha. pure chaossss!!!! ahhhhhh!! and my station masters were screaming for each other every 5 seconds for various reasons. and i had station masters and class i/cs screaming for me every 2.5 seconds i thought i was going to explode.

thank God there's always enough grace for -any- situation!! and the j1s were pretty happy with the whole thing (: it's really a miracle man!! the Lord is exalted high above all trials, tribulations, and in His sight and presence, all mountains become molehills! (: yeah!

God is with me, in me and through me (: i can't ask for more.

and i'm done with talking about school because school does not take up much of my heart and brain anywayyy. hahahaa! (:

BIBLE STUDY!!

yesterday night's bible study was totally awesomeeeeeee!! live the let-go bochap life!!! (: (: (: (:
God loves me and He will take care of me. why worry?

matt6:
31Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? 32 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

thorns, in the bible, are always a picture of the cares of this life. and that's why Jesus wore the crown of thorns! He wore our reasons, our cares and our worries. He took the crown of thorns for us. so that we can take His crown of shalom peace! "peace I leave with you, My peace i give to you." amen!! don't let the devil grip you at your cares, especially not your legitimate ones like about studies, or family, or any of the things close to your heart. because it is by fear and worry that we are held bondage. but instead let go, and let God. (: i'd rather His hands than mine anytime, yes? (: and then we can really start to live (:

(: (: oh man!!! i am so totally blessed. met pris outside the rock after bible study last night! yay!!!
darling pris, i missed you!! (: love the cardddd (: (: love you irresistible-lovely! see ya at campus today!! (:

ok. have to go now! byeeeeee (: bless you bless you bless you! (:

2005-01-06T22:40:00.000+08:00

in the darkness where everything is unknown

i face the power of sin on my own

i did not know of a place i could go

where i could find a way to heal my wounded soul

He said that i could come into His presence without fear

into the holy place where His mercy hovers near

i'm running, i'm running

i'm running to the mercy seat

where Jesus is coming

His grace will be my covering

His blood will flow freely

it will provide my healing

i'm running to the mercy seat.

are you living where hope has not been?

lost in the curse of a lifetime of sin

love the illusions; they never come true

but i know that there's a place of mercy for you

He said that you could come into His presence without fear
into the holy place where His mercy hovers near

Come running, come running

come running to the mercy seat

where Jesus is calling

His grace will be your covering

His blood will flow freely

it will provide your healing

come running to the mercy seat /*

this song is really beautiful and well, after a damn tiring school day, it really freshens me up to know, yet again, that there's always more than enough grace for me. (: Daddy's coming with me to school tomorrow, and i'm bringing Jesus for show and tell! (: i'm running to the mercy seat where Daddy will strip me of all stars and dots that i really, really don't want to care about, but still do. and yet again it's nothing to do with me! because He will perfect me from glory to glory. i'm just gonna resttttt amen!!

tomorrow there's faculty initiations for all the J1s. without You, it'd be impossible. really. things in the natural look pretty screwed up. i'm thankful that You'll never leave me nor forsake me, and in that and in You are all good things!! with a God so so good and so so so faithful, i can finally rest. yay!! let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid (:

kay gonna go back to do fac i stuff now!! (: my heart feels really light and happy haha hoooray! praise the Lord for He is good His mercies endure forever.

2005-01-04T23:37:00.000+08:00

because i'm Yours.

The Wemmicks (or Small Wooden People)
(Written by Max Lucado)

The Wemmicks were small wooden people. Each of the wooden people was carved by a woodworker named Eli. His workshop sat on a hill overlooking their village.
Every Wemmick was different. Some had big noses, others had large eyes. Some were tall and others were short. Some wore hats, others wore coats. But all were made by the same carver and all lived in the village.

And all day, everyday, the Wemmicks did the same thing: they gave each other stickers. Each Wemmick had a box of golden star stickers and a box of gray dot stickers. Up and down the streets all over the city, people could be>seen sticking stars or dots on one another.
The pretty ones, those with smooth wood and fine paint, always got stars. But if the wood was rough or the paint chipped, the Wemmicks gave dots. The talented ones got stars, too. Some could lift big sticks high above their heads or jump over tall boxes. Still others knew big words or could sing very pretty songs. Everyone gave them stars.
Some Wemmicks had stars all over them! Every time they got a star it made them feel so good that they did something else and got another star.

Others, though, could do little. They got dots. Punchinello was one of these. He tried to jump high like the others, but he always fell. And when he fell, the others would gather around and give him dots.
Sometimes when he fell, it would scar his wood, so the people would give him more dots. He would try to explain why he fell and say something silly, and the Wemmicks would give more dots.

After a while he had so many dots that he didn't want to go outside. He was afraid he would do something dumb such as forget his hat or step in the water, and then people would give him another dot. In fact, he had so many gray dots that some people would come up and give him one without reason.
"He deserves lots of dots," the wooden people would agree with one another. "He's not a good wooden person." After a while Punchinello believed them. "I'm not a good Wemmick," he would say. The few times he went outside, he hung around other Wemmicks who had a lot of dots. He felt better around them.

One day he met a Wemmick who was unlike any he'd ever met. She had no dots or stars. She was just wooden. Her name was Lulia. It wasn't that people didn't try to give her stickers; it's just that the stickers didn't stick. Some admired Lulia for having no dots, so they would run up and give her a star. But it would fall off. Some would look down on her for having no stars, so they would give her a dot. But it wouldn't stay either.
"That's the way I want to be," thought Punchinello. "I don't want anyone's marks." So he asked the stickerless Wemmick how she did it.

"It's easy," Lulia replied. "Every day I go see Eli.""Eli?" "Yes, Eli. The woodcarver. I sit in the workshop with him." "Why?" "Why don't you find out for yourself? Go up the hill. He's there."
And with that the Wemmick with no marks turned and skipped away. "But he won't want to see me!" Punchinello cried out. Lulia didn't hear. So Punchinello went home. He sat near a window and watched the wooden people as they scurried around giving each other stars and dots. "It's not right," he muttered to himself. And he resolved to go see Eli.

He walked up the narrow path to the top of the hill and stepped into the big shop. His wooden eyes widened at the size of everything. The stool was as tall as he was. He had to stretch on his tiptoes to see the top of the workbench. A hammer was as long as his arm. Punchinello swallowed hard."I'm not staying here!" and he turned to leave. Then he heard his name.

"Punchinello?" The voice was deep and strong.
Punchinello stopped.
"Punchinello! How good to see you. Come and let me have a look at you."
Punchinello turned slowly and looked at the large bearded craftsman.
"You know my name?" the little Wemmick asked.
"Of course I do. I made you."

Eli stooped down and picked him up and set him on the bench.
"Hmm," the maker spoke thoughtfully as he inspected the gray circles. "Looks like you've been given some bad marks."
"I didn't mean to, Eli. I really tried hard."
"Oh, you don't have to defend yourself to me, child. I don't care what the other Wemmicks think."
"You don't?"
"No, and you shouldn't either. Who are they to give stars or dots? They're Wemmicks just like you. What they think doesn't matter, Punchinello. All that matters is what I think. And I think you are pretty special."

Punchinello laughed. "Me, special? Why? I can't walk fast. I can't jump. My paint is peeling. Why do I matter to you?"
Eli looked at Punchinello, put his hands on those small wooden shoulders, and spoke very slowly.
"Because you're mine. That's why you matter to me."

Punchinello had never had anyone look at him like this - much less his maker. He didn't know what to say.
"Every day I've been hoping you'd come," Eli explained.
"I came because I met someone who had no marks."
"I know. She told me about you."
"Why don't the stickers stay on her?"
"Because she has decided that what I think is more important than what they think. The stickers only stick if you let them."
"What?"
"The stickers only stick if they matter to you. The more you trust my love, the less you care about the stickers."
"I'm not sure I understand."
"You will, but it will take time. You've got a lot of marks. For now, just come to see me every day and let me remind you how much I care."

Eli lifted Punchinello off the bench and set him on the ground. "Remember," Eli said as the Wemmick walked out the door. "You are special because I made you. And I don't make mistakes."
Punchinello didn't stop, but in his heart he thought, "I think he really means it." And when he did, a dot fell to the ground.

"But the Lord said to Samuel, 'Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.'" I Samuel 16:7 (NIV)

2005-01-02T19:55:00.000+08:00

let go and let God.

let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid (:

guard your hearts people!!

during worship today, God told me "is there even a minute that I do not care for you? is there even a second that I do not love you? rest in Me." and i was like O_O that's very trueeeee. and then pastor prince's msg today went on to confirm what the holy spirit was telling me (: truly, faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God!! (: amen!!!

every single time i worship the Lord, the hardness of my heart that comes up from the rough and tumble of daily life melts all over again into His love. in every worship song that i sing giving praise to Him, i am reminded of how much He gave me first. everytime i sing of how my heart longs for Jesus, i am reminded of how much He longed for me first. and what He gave up at the cross just so that He could love me righteously. and oh man.. it's unbelievable. faith is renewed effortlessly. how could I not rest in Him, knowing of how exceedingly above all He loves me? knowing that His mighty arms are always always holding me up?

the hardest part is to believe just how good God is, and just how good God is to you, and what He would do for you. plus what He has already done for you (: "He who did not spare His own son, but delivered Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?" Jesus didn't only die for the whole world, He died for you. just you. (:

2005-01-02T19:49:00.000+08:00

nice cross (:

2004-12-30T22:55:00.000+08:00

it's not about me

it's not about what i do

it's not about what i say

it's not about who i please

or how much i have to pay

because everything is through grace,

through Jesus' way

when He died on the cross

that fateful day

Thank You Lord Jesus,
in Your name i pray.
and that's why i'm so free and happy-gay

every single dayyyyyyy (:

HI PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!! I WAS ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP AND THIS POEM CAME TO MY HEAD!! hahahahaha so i decided to blog it firstttttt and blessss you all!!! (: ahhaah yay a budding poet i am!! in Jesus' name! (: see yu tomorrow peopleeeeeeeeeee

2004-12-30T20:11:00.000+08:00

kickassssssssss!!! i was sitting in front of the comp happily minding my own business when all of a sudden. POP! a very strange thought entered my mind and i remembered that i used to have a deadjournal account in sec 3. damn. so i went back to read it and ok. i admit. i was reallllllyyyyyyyy funny and interesting. and i still am!!! hahahaahaha. some things never changeee!!! HEEE haaha. ok ego trip is o-v-e-r. ahaha hee!

reading through, it's as if i was a totally different person and yet not so different. it's like, the character and everything has changed, the thoughts have changed, and my focus has changed. buttttttttt the jokes never change!!!! hahahahahahahahahaha. oh yay i still maintain a very healthy sense of humour! (: amennn!!! hahahahahaa and of course the style of writing is still the sameeeeeeeee. just that i'm more coherent now, and i actually type in PARAGRAPHS! not random lines. praise God man i'm actually coherent now!!! right? RIGHT? hahahahaahahah.

oh man. i realise that i used to be naively happy and naively sad. oh man. and how i used to think that i actually knew enough about the world already. OK!!

at least now i know that i used to be naive (and probably still am in the flesh) and knowing the problem is half the solution already. PLUS plus plus plusssssss, i now have the wisdom of God to guide me and bring me everywhere!! hahahahaha YES every weakness in me is in turn a manifestation of the glory of God!!! amen!!! i am so blesseddddddd <3

on to today, 412 class gathering. i missed everyone so much. especially neeek becos she's been so far away. i wish i could laugh with her madly all over again like in rg. and rissey and nad whom i haven't seen in ages because they went to the Horrible Communist JC. ok i'm just kidding. ok jac if you read this, i emphasise that i really am kidding. hahahaha. ok so only 10 of us were present when i was there though : ( but i'm glad that at least we got to see each other again!!! (: (: pls organise more? (: wanna see everyone again!!

then i had to leave to babysit and go shopping with my dad at robinsons for a new bed for meeeeeeee!!! yes, beds are very important because you spend about 1/3rd of your life on em. not counting naps. and a new pillow that cost freaking $55 hahahaa. then i got a new mango top. it's an absolutely pSyChEdeLiC shirt that looks nice and classy. and uh.. really psychedelic. like flashing neon colours on black hohoho. i like. ok!!! and then i got honey conditioner for my hair from body shop (: yay! nice shopping trip. i think i blessed alot of people by smiling at them today. (:

totally bummed out now. on the way for class outing i read part of ephesians. and then i asked Daddy, "what does it mean to be a child of the free?"
and i know i'd find out real soon even though i don't really get it yet. argh. i can't wait to find out more of what i really am, being in Christ, and how i am so blessed (:
i love blessing people!!!! the second cycle of graceeeeeeeee here i come!!! (: floww flow floooWwwwWw wheeEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

to the grrrrls
i love you prisss~youlightmyworldwithGod'sloveee!!!hahahahahahaahaha.
i love you neeeek. -hugs-
i love you risseeeeeee (even though we aren't so close now i'd always always treasure you as a wonderful friend who's always gonna be there for me (: and i'm here for you too! ) ok. i just felt like saying that.
i love you soapie even though i let you down sometimes :( like our supposedly monthly meetings. sorry dear but i'm glad to know you understandddddd (: (:
i love you jacccccc!!! (: (: (: -hearts all over- i'm still writing your christmas card midway. ... hehe
i love you yanmin!!!!! definitely not the least (: can't wait to see you when sch reopens and we can support each other to get through the A's (: call me whenever!!! (:

ok iffff i forgot anyone, especially if it's you who's reading this, just vent it out on my tagboard and i'd make it up to you. haha.

2004-12-30T19:48:00.000+08:00

haynes, i pray that you're safe and sound. please contact any of us soon and please come back.

2004-12-28T23:09:00.000+08:00

i really feel this psalm from my heart now, after narrowly escaping the quake disaster by a mere 4 days. for those of you who don't know, i was walking on patong beach exactly where the huge wave crashed in just 4 days ago. i even watched my cab driver running from the wave on a video broadcasted on CNN!! (fortunately he was half laughing so i assume he's safe now.) as pris rightly describes, God's angels held back the quake while i got home safely. praise God for He is my God, my refuge and my fortress. will write a testimony soon, after i've got my fill of revelling in His love.

psalm91
1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the LORD , "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."
3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.

8 You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.
9 If you make the Most High your dwelling-
even the LORD , who is my refuge-
10 then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.

11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD , "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."

every so often, i ask Him: "what is it that makes You love me so much? am i not just one amongst billions? are we not just clay in Your hands? Why didn't You just erase the mistakes and create new perfect ones all over again?" what can it be?

and then after a while He floods me with the awe of it all. that He sent His Son down to die for me, His clay, something He created. and i am so overwhelmed by His love that i don't need to know the reason anymore. all i need to know is that He loves me so, and that's that.

2004-12-25T11:56:00.000+08:00

merry christmas!!!!!!!!!!! (: christ is the reason for the season babyyy.

it's really strange how my life's changing, and how things that used to be normal have been turned upside down. whether i liked it in the past i don't really remember. not many fond memories come to mind. i guess that means that i probably didn't like it very much anyway..
i remember hating people all the time. the humankind on the whole.
i remember being really detached from the real world and everyone that was physically around me. and being more alive on msn than anywhere else.
i remember emptiness, too many faces of friends i didn't really care about, and apathy.
i remember hating myself.

simply put, all that's all gone away now, and Jesus transformed and transforms me from glory to glory. sorry if i don't come online much or talk online much anymore, because well, i'm having lots of fun irl!!!! praise God!!! everything's changed now especially the way i see things. argh. i can't describe it hahahahaha but the joy from the Lord overflows from me (: thanks to all my churchmates and friends who have been there for me all this while. i love you guys more than words can say!!!!!!!!! you know who you are (: and thank you Daddy who brings me through all (: i love you too!!

watch, as the glory of God shines through one who cannot resist the joy that comes from His faithfulness and Love (:

2004-12-23T02:00:00.000+08:00

HIIIII!! BACK FROM CRUISE!! here's some nice artistic shots and spastic faces to get the photos rolling!!! i loveeeeeeeeeeeeeee staaaaar virgooooooooooooooooo!!!!!
i missed everyone alot though. (:

the beautiful big big big big big big big big sea.

me/cuz making funny faces with a reallly nice background of a village and mountains at the coast.

star* virgo. isn't she a beauty?

2004-12-19T09:18:00.000+08:00

Dearest sisters and brothers in Christ,

may the Lord bless you and keep you all the days of this week (: His peace He leaves with you, and His peace we shall live in.

Be aware that Daddy God gave up His best, Jesus Christ, just to have the right to love you. He cannot do otherwise but love you, because He is Love. You have no choice but to be blessed, because Daddy is the God of blessings and turnarounds. He only wants to heal you, not hurt you. He is God the Healer. Sisters and brothers, stand strong in your faith of His faithfulness. because He cannot fail. It has nothing to do with you, nothing to do with what you do, what you say, what you think. Bad as we are in the flesh, we are righteous in Jesus Christ!

Believing may sound like the easiest, but in truth it is the hardest. Let the truth settle in your heart, and you will be blessed like never before. Not because God will bless you any more than He is already, but because you will finally understand that all has been paid for, and the only thing left for us to do is receive in righteousness and faith, and say "Thank you, Daddy". God is the God of the impossibles. In God's economy, the larger the problem, the smaller it really is. Jesus fed 4000 men with 7 loaves of bread, and fed 5000 men with 5 loaves of bread! Be in faith to know that God will never forsake you nor leave you, and He has full power to turn any situation around. Believe in Him and you will receive (:

Stay fast in the love of Christ and Daddy God. (:

Loving you always,
yin shan (:

2004-12-19T08:28:00.000+08:00

HI PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!
i had like an extreme makeover yesterday HAHAHAHA bought new flats, 2 new skirts, 2 new tops and CUT MY HAIR AND DYED IT this light brown!!!!! hahahahaah!!! and i look reaaaally different now. some shop woman said i looked like some dunno what korean actress ahahhahaha PRAISE GOD the glory of God shines from me!!! hahahaha (: women of God are irresistible no? (:

yeps. as some of you may know i'm leaving on a cruissseee today!!!! i'm gonna go to langkawi and back i believe. hahaha WELL that's better than those cruises that go to nowhere hahaha. YAY!! freeflowwwwww of foooooood! <3 eat to my heart's content (: i love food!!! hahahaha and i know that God provides me with GOOOD FOOOOOODDD no matter what. right, Daddy? (:

to say it frankly, i'm spiritually starved. : ( can't even go for service todayyyyyyy. didn't go for bible study either!!! but that's fine. i know that if i step into the second cycle of grace, the river of blessingsssssss, the blessings will flow through me and i'd be blessed too!!! hahahaa. YOU KNOW WHAT! my really bad cough and sorethroat was healed after i prayed for and laid hands on people like melody and sherm and josiah! hahahahaa yay!!!! isn't it so cool!! the high life man(:

God loves to bless me. last night, i watched on tv this new S.H.E mtv about this song called "wo ai ni". and then this phrase totally caught my eye, "i want to take away your burdens and your fears". it was in chinese of course. and i was thinking, jolly good God, Daddy loves us so much, that MUST be how he feels as well!! and i was like :O. no wonder Jesus said so much about not worrying and how the yoke of the cross is light and how we should cast our cares to Him!! and how we do not need to fear because our Shepherd is with us (: and i was like WHOA! yeah man He said it all and did it all because He loves us so so much (: and He loves meeeeeee specially soooo soooo muchhh!! oh man i'm so blessedddddddddddd <3 i love you too Daddy!

kay i've to go and pack now i'm leaving in like an hour but i haven't packed at all HAHHA. God's grace is enough for me!!! (: buh bye (:

2004-12-17T11:55:00.000+08:00

hi Daddy
why do people hate me because i'm busy all the time?
i want to cry. those who used to be my friends are not anymore. why?

Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all.
Psalm 34:19
deliver me Lord from the hands of my enemies

i am righteous because of Jesus' sacrifice! (:

2004-12-16T14:54:00.000+08:00

hi guys!!!!! i feel so looooooooveddddd.. another beautiful day with the Lord! <3>

i love you Lord
and i lift my voice
to worship You
oh my soul rejoice (:

take joy my King
in what You hear
let me be a sweet sweet sound
in Your ear (:

2004-12-16T01:20:00.000+08:00

HI GUYS!! fresh revelations from heaven (: amen hallelujah i can feel the anointing raining down!!! thank you Daddy for blessing me continuously so that i can be a blessing to others as Your love overflows from my heart (: (:

God the Father, or Father the God?
i believe that all of us children of God know that God is our Daddy in Heaven (: but how many of us really know that? just a while ago, i realised that the way one perceives God would make a huge difference in your whole perspective of life and Him (:

some people would say "God Almighty is my Father in heaven" , unaware of the overwhelming truth that God is closer that we know Him to be (:

yet some people would know "my father is God Almighty"!!!! (: for the Lord is our Father before anything else! even before being God Almighty, being the Creator, being God the Healer, being the God of all miracles, being God over all principalities and powers, He is our Abba Father, our Daddy. just as we would say "this is my dad, he's a doctor" rather that "this doctor is my dad", He is our Father before any other name and any other "occupation". He is our Father who cares about us before anything else in the universe, He is my Daddy that would see me more precious than anything else in His entire creation. I am His little girl, the apple of His eye. knowing that He is my Daddy, everything else that He is becomes His way of blessing me as a Father. to me, He is my Daddy before He is God Almighty, before all those big names that He is. He is my Daddy that loves me with an unfailing love, that will bless me beyond a doubt, that can only bless me because He loves me so. and then everything else can come in, and they would not make me feel distanced from Him. He is my Daddy, who can do all things, who can heal me, who makes all miracles, who creates all.

and in that i am secure, and in that i can face all things, for He is my Daddy who loves me so, who can do all things (: and knowing this, we can open our hearts to Daddy, knowing that we can only be blessed, and in that we can receive our blessings freely!! like a river flowing into our hearts. hallelujah!!!! i am so blessed~!!! (:
for Daddy is my God. (:

2004-12-16T01:13:00.000+08:00

the word of the day: Irresistible.

I behold your power and glory

Bring an offering, Come before You

Worship You Lord

In the beauty of Your holiness

Whenever I call You're there

Redeemer and friend

Cherished beyond all words

This love never ends

Morning by morning, Your mercy awakens my soul

I lift up my eyes to see

The wonders of heaven

Opening over me

Your goodness abounds

You've taken my breath away, with Your irresistible love.

oh mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn i'm still so in love with hillsongs' one desire!!!! <3

anyway, today's a real shopping dayyyyy (: went to dentist then went to shop for toys for ian hao! <3>

one thing i learnt from the shopping trip was that it is REALLY EASY to be distracted from the Lord. the whole time i was shopping i didn't remember Daddy at all!!!! >_<>

2004-12-14T13:31:00.000+08:00

supernatural is the new natural.

yesterday was a day of supernatural favour yeah!!!!! hahaha i guess all of you should know by now about my 2-month overdue SRP report lol. yeah so yesterday morning i rushed out my first draft in 3 hours! and then i went to NUS to find my prof.. hallelujah and that's where supernatural favour rained on me!!! when i walked in i was greeted by cheery voices of heyyyy!!! long time no see!! how are you?! and lots of those nice nice stuff (: and then yeah when we finally got down to talking about my SRP, my prof didn't even expect me to have produced a draft already! and when he saw it he was pretty contented with it (: and everything was so positive (: hahaha i met an rj guy there and so a new friend!! (: hey chen jia nice meeting you (:

and everything worked out great. i didn't have to stay for long and then i managed to go for carolling practice not too late! hallelujah, we are definitely living the high-life. God brings me through all!! and i'm not ashamed of it that it's not of my own efforts at all, for He did it all and so, (super)naturally, He deserves the glory (: gaahahahahaha God is so good!!!!

i am secure because i am secure in His love. and i am beautiful because i am beautiful in His eyes.

sherm: 2-year anniversary baby! i love you the same. maybe we'll get married someday. hahahahahaaha

2004-12-14T13:01:00.000+08:00

You are Precious in His sight

HI BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE (: this is for the girlllllllllssssssssssssss in my life. i love youu all and i know that you WILL be blessed by this, an excerpt from T.D. Jake's The Lady, Her Lover, Her Lord. (:

"There is no relationship the lady can experience that is any more fulfilling than the relationship that exists between her and her Lord. It is being held in His everlasting arms that brings about healing from the damages that she has incurred in her pursuit of every other relationship. In His arms, she finds restoration. There will be times when she feels like a little girl, and in His presence she will climb into the lap of a loving Father whose sound wisdom, counsel, and consistent love will insulate her from the adversary whom she must fight. Her Father becomes her protector. He protects her by His Spirit. He counsels her by His Word. He forgives her through His blood, and she if safe in His arms.

He is the solace that heals the feminine soul and renews her mind. he is the missing ingredient that adds validity to every other pursuit of her life. If she gains everything and fails to know Him, she has nothing at all. His love for her is so pure that she will find no other like it. It is not predicated upon her performance or her appearance or her intellectual capacity. He has loved her before she was formed in the womb of her mother. His love is holy. It becomes the foundation that her character is built upon. The woman who knows the love of God is not desperate for the love of men because in His arms she has already found that for which her soul thirsts. Now, this is not to say that having Christ will fulfill every void that she has as a woman. But her satisfaction in His presence is so complete that it removes her far away from the desperate need for affection and affirmation that leads other women to grope and grasp blindly in the night. She can run to Him in every crisis and know that He will not fail her, He will not desert her, He will not leave her, and He will not change.

Strangely, women seem to possess some special ability to touch the heart of God. It is so powerful that Jeremiah, the weeping prophet who was known to be a man of great compassion, still found himself needing the intercesory power of women to touch the heart of God. He said, "Send for the women of mourning and let them take up a wailing" (Jer 9:17). It's as if he knows that God's ears are open to the cry of distressed women. It is not that God favors women over men, but the Lord looks out for His daughters and takes care of their needs. Jesus promises, "If you believe on me as the scripture has said, then out of your belly shall flow rivers of living water." (John 7:38). I then challenge you, in accordance to His Word, to believe in Him. You have believed in others and have been disappointed. You have believed in others and have been rejected. But this is a promise from a man who cannot lie. The challenge is for the woman to believe in Him. If you will, there will be no drought in your heart, no dryness in your spirit, and no emptiness in your life, for God will quench your thirst with living water." (163-64)

thankew prisssssss for that absolutely wonderful link (: lovelove lovely!!!! (: (: (: i just kept nodding my head as i read that hahahahaha. hallelujah!!! another beautiful day in the Lord (:

gonna go out and HAVE SOME FUNNNNNNNNN NOWWWWWWW (: then go church!! X) see ya there priSssssS!! -smiles like a cheshire cat-

2004-12-13T13:21:00.000+08:00

the funniest happenings today (:

A city on a hill cannot be hidden <3suetoooooooooooooooo. says:
and who can we NOT attract
i'm gonna fly with the spirittttttttt i'm soaring over mountains of defeat says:
YEAH!!!
A city on a hill cannot be hidden <3suetoooooooooooooooo. says:
well i just hope not so much oddballs attracted to us
i'm gonna fly with the spirittttttttt i'm soaring over mountains of defeat says:
hahahaha YES ahhahaha
A city on a hill cannot be hidden <3suetoooooooooooooooo. says:
but men and women of God
A city on a hill cannot be hidden <3suetoooooooooooooooo. says:
lol
A city on a hill cannot be hidden <3suetoooooooooooooooo. says:
i'm gonna fly with the spirittttttttt i'm soaring over mountains of defeat says:
even then it's ok we can just
i'm gonna fly with the spirittttttttt i'm soaring over mountains of defeat says:
bring them to our church
i'm gonna fly with the spirittttttttt i'm soaring over mountains of defeat says:
and then they'd become men and women of God!!
A city on a hill cannot be hidden <3suetoooooooooooooooo. says:
and they will be blessed balls!
i'm gonna fly with the spirittttttttt i'm soaring over mountains of defeat says:
HAHAHAHA!!
i'm gonna fly with the spirittttttttt i'm soaring over mountains of defeat says:
BLESSED BALLS
i'm gonna fly with the spirittttttttt i'm soaring over mountains of defeat says:
HAHAHAHA!!

yay. i love prissssssssssss to bits <3!! hahahahaah she's such a joy. we are so harvesting the fruits of the holy spirit already (: bless us Lord!

2004-12-13T01:29:00.000+08:00

oh man. this song really expresses what i feel from my heart. as all of you know, i've found eternal joy in the Lord. a joy that cannot be taken away, and this song just expresses how i feel really well (: so here it is! try to just read the lyrics and take it in (:

Made Me Glad

I will bless the Lord forever

I will trust Him at all times

He has delivered me from all fear

He set my feet upon a rock

I will not be moved

And I'll say of the Lord

You are my shield

My strength

My portion

Deliverer

My shelter

Strong tower

My very present help in time of need

Whom have I in heaven but You

There's none I desire besides You

You have made me glad

And I'll say of the Lord

You are my shield
My strength
My portion
Deliverer
My shelter
Strong tower
My very present help in time of need (:

2004-12-13T01:15:00.000+08:00

it's strange how i'm blogging more even though i care about the world less and less AHAHA!
today's service was fantaaaaaaastic. on how we should confess the supernatural favour of God over ourselves, and that since we can only keep our eyes on one thing at a time, we can't look to ourselves and depend on ourselves for natural favour and supernatural favour at the same time, so we've got to decide on which we want. personally, i'd take the supernatural one muahahahahahaa. which is good because i know i don't have much favour naturally since i'm not like very attractive physically or anything. and SO that makes it easier for me to look to God for supernatural favour!!!!! supernatural favour = supernatural results!!

ok. meanwhile i've this crisis going on that i know i can depend on God to bring me through, and that is my many-months overdue srp report :( IT IS FINISHED BY THE BLOOD!! the blood has paid it all (: supernatural favour!!! on me!! my professor will shower supernatural favour on me!! heehehe!! hahahahahaha.

i see supernatural favour pouring out on me already (:

you gave it all for me

my sole desire my everything

and all I am is devoted to you

how could I fail to see

you are the love that rescued me

and all I am is devoted to you

oh, how could I not be moved, Lord here with you

so have your way in me, cause Lord there is just one thing that i will seek

this is my cry, my one desire

just to be where you are Lord

now and forever

it's more than a song, my one desire

is to be with you, is to be with you, Jesus

the one thing, the one thing I ask, is to be with you.

2004-12-12T10:05:00.000+08:00

Blessed be he that cometh in the name of the LORD: we have blessed you out of the house of the LORD.

yay into the house of the Lord i go! (:

2004-12-12T02:10:00.000+08:00

"The testimony below is written by a cherished friend of mine who attended the camp with me, well by God's plan she was allocated as my roomie! Lol Daddy wanted His irresistable weirdo daughters with kindred souls to meet. <3ya, ying! xD A wonderful blessing that God has placed in my life.. in weird and wonderful ways; just knowing her as the incredibly unique and beautiful person she is, and also through ways like showing me how physics evidently points to the existence of spiritual principalities. kickass neat, sista! :) "

(: (: (: i love ewwwwweeeeeeeee twooooooo roooooomieeeeee~!!!

okay. i just love reminding myself of how loved i am (: heehee i love you prissyprissypris!! i love you tooooo jac and deborahhhh and jiayuaaaaan and meeeeeel even though you guys don't read this hahahahaha ah wells i love you toooooo yanmin!! (: (:

ironically, i just had a revelation tonight about the kind of love that God loves me with, and compared to the kind of love i used to get from my old life, i know why love used to suck. so bad. and so. i shall begin on this morose journey through the paaaaaast.

1. the love from people that say they love you and then say they wished they never did. lol.
have you ever met people who told you that they really loved you and they cared about you, and then said that they wished they never did? okay. i have. and here's the revelation. THEY DON'T! who they really care about is, well, themselves. admittedly they may love you but from this you can tell that hey, this is the kind of love that comes with conditions and expectations and disappointments and selfish reasons and many many yucky things. anyway i can frankly say that i've met quite a handful of this kind of people and friends and boyfriends that make you feel that love is sick and painful and absolutely hateful. because being loved is nice and everything, but the thought that someone loving you could cause that person who loves you pain because he/she loves you makes your mind go absolutely crazy making sense out of it that after a while you just think that love stinks. which is true. this really worldly human love thing really does stink. it stinks like bad eggs man. and now i remember why i found it so hard to dump jerks because the love is beautiful and that part is hard to let go even when everything else stinks. hallelujah i'm redeemed from jerks now (: i'd rather people who feel pain loving me just don't love me at all. and save themselves some pain. i'm sorry i don't think it's very noble to love someone when you feel anger and hate towards the love or that person at the same time, and it is sick. girls if any guy ever tells you this kind of shit, just dump him. please. and if you feel pain loving someone, just cut it off. you're both better off without it really.

2. the love from people who say they love you (or show any sign of approval) only when you do something right (in their eyes).
i think this mostly applies to parents : (. well maybe only some or maybe only mine.. basically it's the kind of love that is unconditional but is expressed wrongly because i refuse to believe that my parents could ever stop loving me because i dont do well. i guess they only show approval when i do well because.. i earned it? : ( okay. then that isnt really unconditional i guess. sigh. this is the kind of love that makes a child feel strangely empty inside..

and NOW, back to the present!!!!!!!!! (: this is the really amazing part that you have to read.

*the God kind of love. - God doesn't only love us, He wants to and He loves it!*
surprise, surprise! no surprise at all hahahahahaa it's quite obvious that i would get to this neh.
anyway, it was during HM that i realised that God loves me, as in it sank into my heart. and every day i realise more and more just how deep He loves me. like tonight i had the revelation that hey, God loves me willingly. and He's more than happy to. Love really is a choice! and i know that God chose to love me when He chose to send His son down to die for me so that He CAN love me. and i know that He is HAPPY loving me!!! and that He doesn't expect us to love Him back, He just loves us with all He is without any single expectation. and He's just filled with joy that He can love us freely and give us freely because He couldn't after Adam fell because the unholiness of the human race separated Him from us. and He gave up everything just so that He could love me and just be with me again!! Just as i am!!Just as He is!! fully revealed!! in His glory!!! so that we can be in His glory in His presence fully!! arghhhhhhhhhh!!!

and that is what makes God's love so irresistible. that He doesn't expect anything, and that all He wants is to be with me and to love me for who i am. which is every person's dream to be loved that way. and all He wants is for us to freely enjoy and be happy.and i know that He loves me no matter what i do and that gives me the strength to do anything! knowing that i am always pleasing in His eyes. and that gives me joy like never before. and i can say again that

happy i am

happy i will be

happy IS ME!!!!!!

hallelujah!!!! a joy that is dependent upon something that will never ever change can never ever go away! (:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. -1cor13.

this love here, is God's love, and God Himself. Human love and love based on human effort WILL fail. and ironically, it's kind of the opposite of the whole chapter. it's not that there is anything wrong in Love and loving, but we are born into this world as Adam's descendents, sinners and imperfect by our DNA. and that is why our love fails. especially when we try to make love happen or when we put too much effort into it. and so love isnt really love anymore when it is touched by our inborn imperfections.
but through Christ's sacrifice we are perfect and spotless and without blemish, bornagain!!, and we are part-God, and so we can appreciate and feel and understand God's perfect love (: and we can be a channel for His love to love other people!! and that's the most amazing part... that we can now love each other with the God kind of love, not of ourselves, but fully of God. and we just enjoy the harvests (: hallelujah, like how we are not just blessed, we are walking talking BLESSINGS wherever we go! (:

and so from this i hope that you're blessed with the heart-knowledge that God loves to love you, and to love you for you. without any expectations. with this, we can rest in His love. forever and ever amennnnnn (:

2004-12-11T01:25:00.000+08:00

HI BLESSED PEOPLE!! just came back from cg at deborah's house!! -all hyped up and everything hahAHahahA- before i forget, i'm gonna ramble on the main points that jiahao shared.

[[those who water will be watered
the high life - not expecting what the world expects. hallelujah!!
love that overflows and manifests on the outside
one side in one side out - lake of galilee unlike dead sea river jordan
even if we come out bruised and bleeding from the walk of life, we are still in the ark
in the ark! we are in the body of christ!]]

and personally what Jesus told me during worship (: (: which is always the best (:
[[i am pleasing in God's eye
i am the apple of Jesus' eye! He told me. I am the most beautiful in His eyes!! (:]]

hey guys these are just point for me to remember what i've received so (: yeah i'm REALLY too tired to elaborate hahahaha i'm sure you guys don't mind (:

ANYWAYYYY, today, jacq brought two friends to caregroup!! both from hc.. becky and her bf ELLERY!!!! who happens to be the guy that sherm always points out when we line up for service to be the cute guy from his secondary school lol and i just HAD to ask him if he knew sherm and yeah he did. and i think he's cute as well HAHAHA and he's prom king of hc! and then jiahao and jereme were just making fun of me asking dumb questions.. but praise God my brothers in christ still love me anywayyyy and i love them tooo.

today was the last day of physics camp ): ): ): i miss everyone already. especially mr oas!! who insists that we call him gary (: he's the COOLEST. absolute coolest teacher i've ever had. oh man i wanna go stanforddddddddddd (: (: i heard about how cool cornell is as well but AHA i love the million-dollar palm tree driveway at stanford! heehee

anyway i'm dead beat and i've to get to jonfooie's house tmr at 930 for our fac meeting (: see ya guys!

2004-12-10T08:49:00.000+08:00

HI BLESSED PEOPLE!
no prizes for guessing where i'm going so early in the morning..
yessssss physics camp!!!! (: (: (: (:
it's the last day already.. time passes sooooooo quickly!! :( i think the lecturer is one of the coolest guys i've ever met (: go gary oas!!!
gonna bring my analogue cam and extra film cos i forgot to charge the digicam -_-
snap snap snap snapping up some memoriessss (: and then gonna compile a list of contacts! yay!!

okay. last night i had 2 really really bad nightmares. it seems like s.a. tan is resorting to low-down trickery and lies through my DREAMs to affect me but noooooooooooooooo sorry. i know my righTs dudeeeeeee. so yay every morning when i wake up i receive new revelations from Daddy and all i can say is that it's plain amazing how i've grown in the Lord! and it's not even my doing.. but that's another long story about HM5 heehee.

gotta go now. have a blessssssssed day!!

for my hands are holy hands that give life and life only!

2004-12-09T08:40:00.000+08:00

HI GUYS!! i was in the bath when i received this revelation and so i decided to rush out and share it with all of you because i just wanna bless youuuuu!!!

failure
last night, i had dreams of failure. that i did really badly in some silly assignment and my ass was scolded off by this teacher that doesnt even teach me in real life. but anyway. that got me to ask Daddy THE question on my mind. "what if i fail?"

and He said:"what? what's failure when you don't lose anything that you've got that only comes with success that is unshakeable and unearned anyway? when you fall, you fall in the ark yes?"

and that is DEFINITELY A MOUTHFUL but then i thought about it and i realised that HEY, it's tRUE!!

firstly, failure would equate to.. maybe, losing what you already have (in any area, like studies in my dream), or not gaining what you would have with success. and i believe that in failure the most important thing that you've lost is not literally the task at hand, but the approval you would have otherwise received, the loss of pride, the feeling of rejection, the feeling of not meeting up to standards, and basically all those negative things. when it comes to working, failure could equate to losing your job, losing your finances, etc.

but hey, in the first place, we have SUCCESS in christ that we didn't earn! and because we didn't earn it, it is unshakeable because it is from God! elaborating that, God loves us, approves of us, is our glory in the first place. and guess what: we are already PERFECT in christ! we have met with the highest standards of all, the standards of God by believing and being in christ!! and i can safely say that God provides for our Father in heaven does know of and provides for the earthly needs we need for His resources are inexhaustible and He would give His children freely for sure (: so material needs are the least of our worries. and then the part on falling IN the ark, we realise that God will never give us any burden that we cannot bear, and similarly God has given us the most perfect safety net ever: Jesus the ark. so you know what that means?

hallelujah, even when we "fail", we don't LOSE ANYTHING! so basically, we CANNOT fail because we don't lose anything even when we fail by earthly standards!! praise God!! for we are in Christ, and there is no failure in christ, only success. (:

praise God! i hope that gave you the strength and faith to do anything because hey, we can't fail. (:

2004-12-09T08:23:00.000+08:00

hi beautiful peeeeeeopleeeee!
i just woke up from a REALLY GOOOD SLEEP with pathetically paranoid dreams.. hahahahaah dreams of condemnation and stuff like that. but there is no condemnation for he who believes in Jesus Christ yes!!!!! hallelujah.. anyway it was amazing that the temp of my aircon was at 23 degrees and i felt really comfy cos that IS really really cold. God was my blanket!! hahahaahahaa how cool is that.

anyway, almost gonna be late for my physics camp already. gonna go shower and go off now. tata!

charm is deceitful

beauty is vain

but a woman who feareth (worships) the Lord

shall be praised (:

2004-12-08T01:48:00.000+08:00

oh man. i know that i said that i was gonna sleep, but.. i just had to continue with my record of HM5 because.. i just have to. (: (: (: and praise God He's my strength so who cares if i don't get enough sleep! hahaha. it's amazing how God manages to put my thoughts the clearest when i am absolutely dozing off hallelujah.

the essence of HM5.

God is love. i can safely say that this is the first time in my whole life of 17 years that i have ever felt so loved. loved absolutely unconditionally with a love that is unfailing, strong, absolutely reliable, tender, fatherly, forgiving, faithful, and intense like fire to say the least. Worship was the ultimate. Everytime i worshipped, i felt God's presence permeate the air around me and my skin and inside my heart. It was undeniable. undeniably good! i was just receiving and receiving the love that He loves me with which is immeasurable and too good to describe. and it overwhelmed me many times to tears. Before HM, i had never realised just what kind of love God loves me with. It is when i am at my weakest and smallest that God would hold me in His arms and supports me up and assures me that He's always going to be there and He'd always love me the same. Regardless of my marks. Regardless of my deeds. Regardless of my thoughts. Even if i hated Him to the core, He would love me just the same. But when you know intimately of His love, you're changed forever. I couldn't help but love Him back when i knew just how much He loves me and cares for me. He is irresistible and I am irresistible as well in Him! (: Hallelujahhhhhh hahahahaah! If you think i'm just imagining things and personifying a feeling, you're wrong. God's love is more real than any other love i've ever felt in my entire life and if you don't believe that you'll just have to feel it for yourself (: hallelujah!!

God is good. Hallelujah! God is good, regardless of what i believe or what you believe. It is a truth that God is good and faithful. it's even more real than a fact because facts can change, but truths do not. and this truth overwhelmed me during HM5. God is faithful. His word is truth and His promises will surely come to pass because He says so. and what is the crux of the truth here? that Jesus died and rose again. this truth just breaks the whole circle of arguments and dispells all doubts that Jesus is God and Jesus is the life and that the Word is truth beyond all other names and principalities and powers! It is not about our faith even, but of knowing that GOd will always be faithful, even when we are not. Jesus is the author and finisher of our faith hallelujah, because we hold fast to the truth that Jesus is always faithful and good. It was at HM that this head knowledge finally and i mean FINALLY sank into my heart to become heart-knowledge. hallelujah, God loves me, and He is good. He is good.

I am Daddy's little girl. it was also during HM5 that i received the approval of a Dad from my Daddy in heaven (: it's the kind of approval that does not depend on anything that i do right or do wrong. it doesn't depend on how well i do in school or how responsible i am. it's unconditional. and it's my Daddy God's love that gives me the assurance to know that i can do absolutely anything and still be acceptable in His eyes (:

and this is the joy that i've received that cannot be taken away. (: thank you Lord. for HM5.

2004-12-08T01:37:00.000+08:00

HALLELUJAH!! i feel so ultimately loved that i could just drownnnnnn in God's amazing love.
anyway, talking to pris tonight was a reaaaaal blessing. as always, babe, you are AN IRRESISTIBLE BLESSING!! (: i love youuuuuuuu to bits. we shared about everything under the sun and i just feel SO SO blessed to have a sister like you (: by the way, did i mention that we're irresistible?

hey! i've just added this cool new feature (if you haven't noticed already) which gives quotes of daily wisdom that is updated DAILY duh ahahahahahAHAhahA at like the lower end of the one way picture (: look to it for some Godly wisdom everytime you visit my blog!! it'd definitely bless you.

anyway, i'm so darn tired. going to sleep like. now. gdnite heavennnnnnnn (:

just a footnote (: : God thinks i am the hottest babe alive. (and i don't give a shnizzle what you think ahahahaA!)

2004-12-06T23:55:00.000+08:00

HELLO EVERYONE!! i just wrote this poem. i hope you guys like it! cos i surely doooo and prissy does tooooooo!!! here goes:

happy i am

happy i will be

HAPPY IS ME!!!

hallelujah, i am happy.